Live on The Go Be Great Podcast with Jackie Capers-Brown and Rocky Singh Kandola


Today in the guest chair is Rocky Singh Kandola. He encourages us to say YES to new opportunities and take the leap of faith even when we don't know how every step of our plan will unfold into success. Rocky Singh Kandola is the business owner of Hair Maiden India. His business provides business owners with high-quality hair products for them to successfully run and/or scale their business. He travels directly to the temples to keep hair quality high. Rocky has been through a lot when he was younger because of the decisions he made. He uses the insights and lessons he's learned to inspire others, especially, felons to believe that they are capable of creating a better life for them and their family. He believes that no one should allow a bad decision in the past to define who they can become and what they can accomplish now. He believes in his heart that part of his path to healing and gaining fulfillment from the wisdom he has accumulated from navigating life-changing setbacks into great comebacks is sharing his story and speaking to motivate and inspire other people to believe in themselves and their dreams and goals. Some Questions I Asked

  • What's the theme song for your life?

  • What he wished he had known before becoming an entrepreneur?

  • What self-leadership traits you believe have led to your success?

  • What challenges have you overcome recently?

  • A lot of people believe that hurt people hurt people. What's your take on this?

  • What fear have you had to overcome?

  • What experiences led to half of his face being fake?

  • and so much more...

In This Episode, You'll Learn

  • The #1 vacation destination he recommends to everyone and why

  • How the fear of his past caused him to feel arrogant anger towards life, people, and himself

  • The perspective shift that helped him to stop worrying so much as a new entrepreneur

  • The three things that keep him grounded and focused on growing his business

  • The importance of creating a snowball effect in business

  • Challenges his import product-based business faced during Covid

  • Insights about why I believe he is a modern-day philosopher in the making

  • and so much more ...

Contact Rocky Kandola Website: Https://rockykandola.com

Business: https://www.hairmaidenindia.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/HairMaidenIndia



TRANSCRIPT OF THE VIDEO:


Jackie Capers Brown:

I'm Jackie Capers Brown, AKA your girl, Jackie B. I worked my way up through the ranks from an hourly position to becoming an award-winning manager and executive leader of several high-performance teams and successful seven-figure businesses. During my 20 years corporate career. Today, I am an author, speaker, corporate trainer lifestyle coach, and the founder of the Go-be Great movement. I created the Go-be Great podcast with the intent to educate, empower, and equip everyday people with inspiring stories and actionable strategies that will help you master your inner game of greatness to achieve breakthroughs and win the game you most want to win. If you are purpose-driven, ambitious, and committed to becoming the person who is willing to do what it takes to create a life and career you love you're in the right place. Let's do this. Hey. Hey. Hey, Go-Be Great nation. This is your girl, Jackie B today in the guest chair, we have Rocky Singh Kandola. Welcome Rocky to the show.

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Hello, miss Jackie. Thank you so much for having me today.

Jackie Capers Brown:

I am so glad you're here and I'm looking forward to our conversation now, before we get started Rocky, what I would like for you to do is to share three things that you feel people should know about you. Okay.

Rocky Singh Kandola:

I am an Indian American born and brought up in India. However, I've lived around the world with many different cultures. So it's very hard to label me as, you know, one kind of thing. Two, I have in my life been to some crazy highs and some very, very unexpected for what people will tell me lows as well. And three, I, regardless of how it looks, I love playing tennis and loved the piano and loved the arts here stuff, even though I'm a bigger guy. And I'm very in touch with that side of me. So people kind of get like, ''wait a minute. Who is this?''. Like when they hear that. So when they see that, so it's better to get it out in words right away.

Jackie Capers Brown:

Rocky, you shared with me that one of your favorite past times is travelling my question for you. Where have you travelled that you would recommend us to travel to and why?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

The first one's very easy. So I would recommend Bali. Bali, Indonesia. I was just there last year on my birthday. And like I said, I've travelled all over the place. I've been forced to travel. I have travelled on my own, travel with groups and travelled solo as well. Bali Indonesia is a very special place to me. It's my heart. Just the quality of people with life and to be real as the price to live that life is not anything like anything we have in America period. Last year I did my trip. I think under $1,700 was my ticket for 17 or 18 nights in Bali. And I was staying in beachfront hotels with my breakfast, which floated to me on a tray. That's just like the glitz and glam part. The real part of Bali is the heart. And what you find out there, as far as the culture, the food, the people go and the amenities such as how much like meditation, yoga and peace based. Not only just society in general is, but how much is available out there? And not for LA prices, like $150 to go, like learn about yoga. You know, it's actually very reasonable. And that was for me going through the things I went through in my life, that was some of those keys that I needed. I didn't even know I needed it. And Bali was a random trip. One of my friends was out there and going there as well. And I said, yes. And I'd say that I'm very, very grateful for that time of Bali and I can not wait to get back there.

Jackie Capers Brown:

Yes, I see the pictures and I hear a lot of people talk about it. So tell me something you live on the west coast. How long does it take you to get to Bali?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

So I don't like paying for the expense of airline tickets, even if I can, if I don't like it, I like taking the shorter, the longer route and using my money on other things. So for me, I had a, I believe 14-hour flight to China and then an eight-hour layover and then about a six to eight-hour flight to Bali, which is about the same thing I do every time I go to India as well. So it's quite a long flight. If you plan it properly, you've got the right books, a little bit of work to do. You know, you know, when to grab a glass of wine to go to sleep with. You can make it work pretty easily. And for me, I even got a chance when I stop in China to get out of the plane and go visit another country. So I got to go see Shanghai and stuff as well.

Jackie Capers Brown:

Yeah. Well, that amount of time for a layover. Yes. So had you been to China before, or?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

I have, I have simply for business though. Not for anything kind of like looking around pleasure like that as well, just simple business.

Jackie Capers Brown:

Yeah, because you definitely see the city differently when you're not doing it because of a business meeting versus you go on as just a regular person who wants to go and chill and have a good time. Well, you can do that to have a good time too, but you know on a business meeting, but it's a little bit different. So at least for me, anyway.

Rocky Singh Kandola:

I agree.

Jackie Capers Brown:

if you had to choose, if someone said, Rocky, what is your theme song for your life? What would it be and why?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

I wish I knew more about more of these songs, like off the top of my head. I mean, the first one I could pick up in this because of my name, obviously. And every school I've been to from military school, every Bootcamp, anytime there's any ever like a presentation or something we had to come out to, it was always the Rocky song and it's kind of cool because the Rocky song, like one doing it, you see Sylvester Stallone, running up the steps and then getting to the top and putting his hands up. And I kind of see that in me a little bit too like I have, I feel like I'm constantly, re-inventing those steps for myself because I will put my hands up. And I'm like, wow, there's another staircase to go. Just like for a quick answer. I think the Rocky song will be definitely appropriate.

Jackie Capers Brown:

Somehow I felt like that too, when I wrote it down. And I was like, I wonder if he's going to say because of what I just know about you, the little bit I know about you. I was like, I mean, he's had that type of experience that not that specific experience, but similar in a way. So yeah. So I'm not surprised so I can understand that. Definitely. What is your superpower and how has it enabled you to overcome challenges and achieve success?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

I believe my superpower lies in communication. I have had to grow with it and struggle with the fact of sometimes it's not as easy for me to portray my superpower because communication is one of those things that I think you kind of need to have yourself aligned in certain ways to be able to communicate properly. And as you know, in life all get thrown off track sometimes. And that happens to me just like anybody else, many, many times. But I have been able to use communication to simultaneously get myself into very, very horrible situations and also get myself out of them. And also travel the world and connect with people. And I mean, the reason I was able to start my business, even meet the people I did was just for the fact of, you know, I have to be able to communicate. And when I'm in public groups, in a setting and I'm out and about and around, I can't have like, just everyone's looking around at each other. I'm gonna do that one to break the silence. Like, so how's everybody doing? Like what's going on? You know, like I don't necessarily have to be like the centre of attention and talking, but I do like to know that people around are communicated and I like to be able to, I think it's more of a me thing because I like to get out what's inside and I've learned about myself. I don't get it out. Then it troubles me inside. So better out than in.

Jackie Capers Brown:

That's true. I agree. And I believe that being able to connect with people through communication, sometimes it's non-verbal, but a lot of times, because I believe people want to be seen, heard and valued. I think it's important that we're able to communicate in different environments and some environments don't require us to be serious. It's more laid back and chill, I think, believe that you should be able to start a conversation with someone because I believe we have more in common than we don't. So I think that if someone is a great communicator, they are often able to get someone who may be reluctant to step up and start a conversation to begin and make them feel more relaxed. And then they're able to just, and then they started talking your ears off and you're like, well, what happened to me talking?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

I think you brought up a good point too, about being adaptable and communicating. I think that's super important. Like being able to adapt, like say if like you're in a corporate business meeting at a high-level company and you need to portray yourself and your business certain way versus, you know, you're in a third world country on the streets walking around and curious about life out there and how people are living.

Jackie Capers Brown:

That's exactly right. When you're interested in people, they become interested in you. So regardless of whether it's professional or laid back, you know in a third world country, I think that just that general need to feel somebody is interested in them because then they open up, you know, and then you find out things that you would not have known possibly like somebody, myself who has not yet flown out of this country to be able to communicate. And I'm relying on my ability to communicate and connect with people, to get me where I need to be when I do something. What is a fear that you've overcome? And what lessons did you learn about yourself?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

So fear, honestly I still struggle with many fears to this day. One that I have overcome is the fear of my past and the fear of my past. Not only repeating itself, but me not being able to get past it. And me thinking that this is who I am, and this is my identity and I can't be anything more than this. And that fear actually manifested itself into almost an arrogant anger at a certain point where I was like, you know what? I'm like, ''this is who I am and tell me anything else I don't care''. You know? And until I realized, like, you know, really Rocky, like when I started trying to change, I'm like, ''I'm scared of change''. I already know this is already knowing what I have here. I know what I don't have. I know how my day goes. I know where my people are. And I'm scared to change it. And you know, that process started seven years ago for me. And it's still kind of like, you know, in the works almost where I'm like, you know, still like I have a misstep and I'm like, ''oh man, is everything going to come piling back up from the best again? And it freaks me out. I get to a point where I'm like, I have to really just quiet myself like, ''it's okay. It's okay. You know, it's okay. You're going to get past that you had before, you're going to get past it''. And I have to almost get repetitive and tell myself that because now I actually do know that to be true. So I don't allow my mind to wander too long to get back to that point. I definitely have had points where I've let those fears overcome me even in the past. Even in the past couple of weeks, you know, we're, we're, we're, it's been overwhelming to a certain point.

Jackie Capers Brown:

Yes, yes, yes. And I think that we take ourselves wherever we go. And so the repetitive stories or narratives that we tell ourselves, if, if they're not managed, then they will prevent us from actually being the change that the world needs to see and to live out a story where we're the hero of it. Not anyone else, you're the hero of your story. And they're only you because there's only one, you like you in this universe and galaxy. So as a, as a result of that, that your story, your life is a story where other people can be inspired by it. And to recognize that even though they may be thinking that having that same fear, that they're able to hear your story and say, you know what? It may take some time for me to move past this, but I know of this man named Rocky Singh Kandola, who rose up. And if I have to listen to this podcast over and over and over to get it in my head, yes, it's possible for me to move past this, move past this narrative and start telling myself another one to disrupt those assumptions and to begin to challenge the status quo on whatever labels or definitions that people might put on someone based on what they have done in their past. And that my friend is a beautiful story. And I know your ending is just going to be magnificent as a result of it. Thank you. As an entrepreneur, what do you wish you had known when you first started?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

That's a very good question. And I'm very, very strong about this. One is the amount of worry and time on energy I've placed on worry and not sure if it's going to focus, I was like, 'oh, it's not going work. It's not working'. That's the one thing I wish I had known that. And now like, my brother works with me. The work for me, a close friend of mine had told her same thing. Like you have, like, I know it sounds crazy. I know it sounds like everything's going to be panicking. You're worried about it, but you have to know it's going to be okay. You know, you're going to keep pushing forward. And I just kind of wish I didn't spend so much time focused on those things back then. I probably could have been a bit more productive, but, you know, I definitely took a big lesson from it. And now looking back, I can see, and I remind myself now like right now, I just got back from vacation. There are so many orders pending. I have some girls that are upset because I've been gone and have never talked to them and had orders having gotten out fast enough. And it started overwhelming. I'm like, okay, okay. Like, no matter what happens, like it's going to be okay, you're an entrepreneur, you're a businessman or businesswoman, whoever you are like, you're going to push forward. That's the definition of what we do. Like in business, we're adaptable and flexible enough to roll with the punches and keep moving forward because we're chasing and creating the life that we love.

Jackie Capers Brown:

That's exactly right. And I have yet to hear anyone tell me from their wisdom, that worry changes anything. That's my take on worry because I used to be a big-time warrior in my late teens and early twenties. And I came across this actual scripture verse. And I just basically just like, well, that's a waste of my time as a business leader. What self-leadership trait that you believe has resulted in your success?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

I believe that the biggest things successfully will last for me where you know, first of all, like kind of letting go of all of the things that were distracting me while I was on the path to my business life, that was like kind of the first steps that things were slowing me down. Basically getting out of my own way up from there a powerful morning became very, especially when I was like really in the prime, like working the hardest and building the company a very powerful early morning start. And then from there having like a system of organization of things that I would accomplish and do early day and every day working towards just a little bit of baby progress I think that more than sales, more than anything else is literally every day, making certain progress steps in each area, they'll keep that snowball effect going, you know, and eventually, that snowball will build and it will be faster and it will roll down the, you just got to keep going.

Jackie Capers Brown:

Yeah. That's a lot like a business too, because when we first started, you know if those people who have they understand business enough to know the importance of processes and systems and they put them in place and they themselves are disciplined in certain ways and they actually just keep marching, they do that 20 mile March. And that Jim Collins talks about in his book, just keep marching, no matter the weather, whether it's sunny and raining and snowing, you just keep pressing forward to get to that 20-mile mark. And as you continue to do that, just like you said, that snowball coming down that mountainside begins to get better. And we begin to get that. We begin to build that momentum makes progress, and we can then duplicate the things that really work towards something else or just keep building. So yeah, those are some great answers. Thank you for sharing that with us. What is a business challenge that you have had to overcome recently?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Recently, you know, the whole COVID thing is affecting everybody. Business-Wise, it's totally changed a lot of the way we do operations. As far as, you know, our meetings appointments go, I used to be open all day long and have clients coming along. I had to change that. And then shipping times and speeds, you know, like the factory we've had to do all kinds of different things in order to get, you know, product and, you know, during this time and customs in both countries and everything is just so much in between going on. I mean, I should probably like do a whole class about like all the little small things in between the like that it tastes cause like I just did it now. And I know it has such small things that the biggest lesson from that for anyone listening is in a business, especially, you know, product-based business, the one like on, and you can literally let go of one of the small pieces and not know it and it can hurt you very, very badly, you know? So, and I've had it happen to me, you know, that's how I know, like in the beginning I wouldn't charge my clients tax on the, on their credit card transactions simply because I didn't know, you know, it took me almost a year and we realized like, oh, there's a button I can press on my invoicing and it'll automatically add the tax on there for it. I mean, I must've lost, you know, good five-ten thousand Dollars the first year on that. You know, the COVID thing. It showed me a lot of the reason why the systems, you know, and the software and things we use are so important. So overcoming it is actually also in progress because as we know, things are still almost the same situation as it was, you know, a year ago when COVID first started. So yeah, it's a constant kind of, you know, uphill like the battle with COVID and dealing with it, all the changes in government and laws and customs and travel and this and that. So that's why I'm kind of just dealing with it on a daily basis. And when FedEx changes to the rule, when the US government says something different, when the Indian government says something different, there's no one to go complain to. You know, we can't write a letter where we could have Mike answer in 10 years, you know, you just have to adapt and change.

Jackie Capers Brown:

Right now for our listeners who don't know what type of business that, you're in share with our listeners, what type of business that you're in and what inspired you to get into that business.

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Got it. So I do 100% of human Indian hair extensions directly from the samples of India. I have a factory in place in India as well in the showroom out here in the US to do my sales and just shipping across the world. Work mainly the business owners and you know, some retail here and there since I'm in LA. But you know, the story of Herrman started almost 10 years ago when I was actually in an Alabama state prison from that place, me and block mate of mine would use a stolen snuck in cell phone and like call out to his sister, to his cousins and find out information, not only about the hair industry but about, you know, different clubs. We want to do restaurants. We wanted to do ideas for a vodka bottle. We wanted to do you know, conglomerate real estate company, all kinds of things we like trying to do, like business-wise when we're sitting in prison and hair was one of them. You know, he kind of suggested, he's like, ''Hey, Rocky, you're Indian''. You know, like all my homegirls in Atlanta, like they were here like, and you're Indian, they weren't Indian hair. I'm like, well, what do you want me to do about it? I don't know anything about hair. And it's funny like I got out of prison and never thought about it. I actually jumped back into the same lifestyle for a bit. And all of a sudden I had a chance to leave the country and to go to one of three countries of my choice paid for, by my father to get away from what I was, you know, in. I just wanted to get away and take a break. And you know, I used to say no to them. I used to get, you know, bump heads on a lot. And this time, somewhat of like a higher power outside energy came to me and said, Rob, 'it's time, man. You know, let go of these girls, let go of this club life, let go of these cars, let go of your house, let go of these circles, you know, and hustling day to day petty stuff and go see what else is out there''. And, you know, I went to India and a short couple of months later, my mom started to go towards, okay, what can I do legally? And we'll work on, how can I make a living? You know, like what can I do to earn money and to do things I don't want to be a doctor. My dad wants me to, I don't want to be what everyone else wants me to. I don't want to have a nine to five job. How am I going to make this work? And, you know, the hair thing came to my hand again. And I made one post on Facebook and all my homegirls from, from Mississippi, from Alabama, they're like, ''oh my gosh, Rocky, you got here, like hit us up, hit us up''. And that's literally how it started. And it definitely wasn't easy. I was seven years ago. It's taken until now to even get to where I am, which I'm still growing, you know, constantly. But yeah, that's like the short and quick story of how it started.

Jackie Capers Brown:

You shared with me that half of your face and jaw is fake. Can you go into a little bit of details about what was it, what experiences brought that to be?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Yes. so in 2006 or seven, I was arrested for distribution of controlled substances vis-a-vis cocaine and for an undercover sting operation. From that point I was, you know, I had almost a hundred K lawyers and I'm gonna tell you a hundred K lawyers in Alabama, we'll get you the worst sentence possible in the history of the state for the same charge. The example of that, I guess that's what they wanted. I wanted to make an example out of me, but during that time in the beginning I was on house arrest and I was still in college. So I was trying to finish up college and I ended up graduating with like a 4.0 of my GPA. And one of the things I hadn't done because I didn't, you know, wasn't, my interest was a music class. So I had to take a music class and go downtown to the opera to, you know, watch this opera play in Mobile Saenger Theatre, downtown all on my girlfriend at the time. And after leaving, we stopped at a bar. I was at that time before I was arrested and doing club management and promotion and talent management. So I had a lot of like rivals, you know, competitors in the area downtown. There wasn't too many of us and everyone knew me because I was the only one that I'm the only brown, six-foot, two, it's all big Indian kid that doesn't keep his mouth shut and that the state of Alabama and I was like, there's only one of me. And yeah, so, you know, there's those small, you know, words exchanged the bar and long story short, I was picked up and thrown into a concrete sidewalk where my jaw and face bit the sidewalk and skid on it. So all this, like these are all fake teeth. Everything on this site is fake. The only place where they went to surgery was my jaw. You can see it now. And they had to take a piece of bone out of my head and my hip and place it in my jaw in order to get my teeth back to me. So when I went to prison, actually I went to prison with half a mouth, no teeth and metal sticking up out of it. I mean, it took me a year of being in prison almost maybe about 15 months of complaining and bleeding every day. And even having convicts and inmates tell me that, ''your mouth stinks man, like, wait, why do you smell like that?'' Because I'm bleeding all day long and finally popped out the metal pot out of my mouth. And they, you know, took me to have emergency surgery there. And shortly after I got out of prison, finally, maybe six months later the doctors finally finished up doing the moulds and gave me now these mini implants that are on the left side of my, on my face down here that I still can't really feel anything he actually had. I can't feel this part of my body, this part, this part, this part or part on my knee and a part of my leg. That's like all like there's so much nerve loss in my body. Not all from that. It was a different, different thing that happened to me, you know, throughout the years that the reason that the jaw thing was one of the biggest, you know, major, I had almost probably 10 to 15 major surgeries while I was put under sleep. Just related to the jaw injury.

Jackie Capers Brown:

Well, I don't know who did the work, but they sure don't show. I'm like, what! With all this detail, because I'm looking at you. Listeners I'm looking at him. And I'm like, I can't believe all that has happened to that face because that face does not look like that. So they knew were doing.

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Blessing blessings.

Jackie Capers Brown:

Yes, yes, yes. And you were young. I think when you're younger, that skin just take on better than when you get older. It's like, oh no, I ain't bouncing back like that.

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Well, I tell people around me, like I don't have too many falls left in me. I need to kind of stay on my feet for right now. I don't need to be hit in the ground too much.

Jackie Capers Brown:

Exactly. Exactly. Why do you believe now that being a felon doesn't have to limit your possibilities in life?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

So an amazing question. And to be honest, the only answer I can give is the whole reason I now know that it's because I did it, you know, you couldn't, no one could really come in and say, Hey, you can do anything you want to do. I've heard that growing up, you know, in school like you can be anything you want to be, you know, we hear it all the time as a felon. Like, no, we know that's definitely not true. You know? And, and especially when it first happened, I was just like, oh, then there's nothing else for me to accept this lifestyle, but it's just not true. You know, it's a label that we all know now I don't want to talk too much political, but pretty corrupt, pretty backwards, pretty, you know, money, the hungry government labelled you as I'm not gonna let that control my life, you know? And if I have to like even people out here in LA, they drive Uber and I want to drive Uber. I came here to like get my business going and while I was making money, but then they'll go around the corners. They'll like, you know, use someone else's ID and do it. And you know what? I'm like power to you. I don't feel like that's illegal at all. I feel like you are disobeying an unjust law and you're a bigger Patriot than anyone around you to hold a flag or, you know, goes to some rally, could call themselves because that's the biggest thing when it comes, especially a country of United people like is standing up to and standing up for the quote, unquote bottom people in our country, the quote, unquote, bottom people or our convicts, our criminals and our felons. If you want to rebuild a country and you need to do it from the ground up and you can't turn a blind eye to the people that you know, are, are at the quote-unquote bottom that is, that is stepped on everybody else. And you know, given many of them made their own choices. You're speaking to someone who's been to prison. I am a very observant person. And I know for a fact there was at least, at least five, 10 people. I'm like, yeah, you need to spend a little bit more time here, man. Like just, hopefully, it'll get better, but that's not the case for most people in there. Most people we're literally just trying to feed their families or trying to do something better with their lives and didn't have the tools and resources or the knowledge to know that they didn't have to go in that route. And the people around them run that route. So they kind of went the same way. And that's kind of the biggest thing that I want to be able to have an impact on because all my, all my homeboys, all my friends, the people I don't even talk to as much anymore. And not because I don't love them. It's just because I'm doing something different. I really want them to, I don't even think they need to hear from me. I need to hear it from somebody else beause they know me too well. They look at me like, ''ah, that's fine''. We've done all this way that we don't know what's going on, but that you can change it, man especially when you want it. And, and that's what he said for me is like, man, I'm tired of looking over my shoulder, but being addicted to this and that of running from this place at that place of having some cash and spending it of not having a legitimize, you know, bank account to go forward with putting some cashier in some kind of lifestyle to me like now it's almost ticky to a point I don't want to be around it almost.

Jackie Capers Brown:

Yeah. There's a young man here in Columbia, South Carolina, where I'm at. Lester was on my podcast last year during my black men on justice in America series. And one of the things he, he murdered a gentleman and I guess because of good behaviour, his sentence was cut in half. So he didn't, he didn't actually stay in the entire, I think it was like 30 something years. I think he paid in 17 years, but he was only 17 when he did that. But one of the things he told me was that the thing that got him on the path to his business nonprofit is called the path to redemption. Well, one of the things that happened to him or while he was incarcerated, there was this gentleman that would come and teach the young men different life skills. And he actually pulled Lester over to have a one-on-one conversation because he has a great way of communicating. And he said to him, you know, and I'm paraphrasing him, but basically ''young man, there is a purpose for your life. And that this situation that you're in right now has a lot to do with that purpose''. You didn't tell him what, but this is what happened before he got out, he started talking to the inmate about different days that this man had told him in another group. But I don't know who he had in the prison system, arranging for speakers to come and speak to the prisoner, to give them hope, to let them know that this was not the end that you had. There was another possibility he gets out. He goes back to college. He gets his associate degree. He opens up this non=profit, his nonprofit is preparing and positioning them securing jobs for them, helping them get apartments here because, in South Carolina, it is actually a law that landlords can prevent you from getting an apartment. If you have a felon, he's gotten the mayor to pass a law that all the businesses had to take off their applications. Are you a felon or not? He is about making sure that people who have made the wrong choice, that choice do not define you, the rest of your life. I mean, he is passionate about that.

Rocky Singh Kandola:

I will love the reset path to redemption right.

Jackie Capers Brown:

Lester Young is his name. You need to reach out to them because I'm telling you, he is really passionate about it. And he's organized people, you know, inspired people to volunteer. I mean, people with big jobs, volunteer in his non-profit simply because of the fact that this man is so passionate about what he, Rocky, what advice would you give to those listeners who are felons and feel like they've struck out in life and know we've talked about a lot, but what would you say to someone if they came to you and said, Hey, man, I just don't feel, you know, just like you said in the podcast, that If somebody had told you differently, you wouldn't have believed them. Well, what am I going to do?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

And it's such a personal thing though. We can pull motivation, inspiration from people like me and I can pull from others. But when it comes time to make those changes, 100% of the time, my opinion is going to come from inside. So it begins with like, you know what, I'm tired of this. I don't want this anymore. And then it comes with believing, truly believing that there is something else out there for you. And once you put those two things together, it's funny how the rest of the things start to click, but they do. Like, I didn't even realize that when I put those two things together, the trip to India, it all came all at once. It was all like, oh, well, like, and it was just, I said, yes. And then from that point, taking that leap of faith, micro talking about earlier, letting go your fears, taking that leap of faith and actually going forward and people get so caught up in like, well, I gotta have this exact plan and go, and this and that, like, you really don't. Especially coming from our positions as felons are as people that have been through the trenches and the struggles and the addictions and the this and that, you know you believe that you can do something better and you don't want to do what you're doing right now anymore. They say that when the student has led, ready to learn that the master or the teacher will appear, and that doesn't have to be on the phone with a person, it can be the form of a book, a podcast even a sign in the air while you are walking, you know, like, but it does come. And it sounds like for me, if I, that once again, if I heard this back, then I'd be like, 'ah, I don't know. So like, that's when I come back to the circle on like, you know what? You have to be tired, you have to be legitimately tired of it. You know, like a lot of my friends are still in the same lifestyle type of thing, and they're comfortable. You know what I mean? They're not tired of doing that. They're, they're happy doing it. Like I would love to be able to impact and change them. But I have realized that like, it does take, you know, a small prerequisite, a smaller apartment, and that one have to come from within, you know, it has to come from that person. And once that's there within, I feel like I can help anybody beyond go to a certain place and also feel like they can help themselves beyond that place as well.

Jackie Capers Brown:

Absolutely. I believe that any major change that I've ever had, or orchestrated in my own life came with me saying enough is enough of this. Simple as that, I got to that point where I said enough is enough when I was living as a single mom on government assistance in a section apartment, struggling to take care of my two children. I got to the point where I said, and though it was only two years, it seemed like it was a lifetime. But for me, because I had high expectations for myself, I dropped out of college because of, of me wanting to take care of my kids and work. And then when I had my second child, I was like, I don't have any babysitters. So anyway, the point of it is I got to that point where I said enough is enough. And then not only did I know I could do better.

Jackie Capers Brown:

My children deserved better. And as a result of that, my children served as my inspiration to get me into shape and do whatever I had to do to make sure that they had the life that I believe they deserve. So you have to get to that point because you're absolutely right. People can sing all and you share all these positive notes, but messages and all that. But if you are not listening, if you are not to the point, if you want to experience a change in your life, you have to be at that point where you are going to demand more of yourself. You're going to say to yourself that you deserve better, you can do better. And that you've drawn a line in the sand and say, enough is enough when you draw that line in the sand and put the steak and take that steak and put it down and say, I'm going to do better. Then the teachers will appear. The opportunities will appear because when we have a teachable experience or a teachable spirit, so amazing, the bread crumbs that begin to appear in our life and those bread crumbs are going to provide us with evidence that something else is possible. And whether we act on that or not will determine what's the next bread crumb that we see in the past begins to unfold. But you have to reach that point where you have had enough, but whatever it is that you're dealing with, that you feel like you want change to happen in your life. A lot of people believe that hurt people, hurt people, but you believe hurt. People can love people.

Rocky Singh Kandola:

People can love people. I have I've seen and been both. I hurt a person that's hurt somebody and a hurt person that can love someone as well. And I've been hurt by people that have been hurt. And I've been loved by people who have been hurt as well. So I've seen, I've seen all sides of it. I feel like, you know, I think the biggest thing when it comes to like the saying that hurt people, hurt people, is not to like, make an excuse is to say, guys, like if we spread a little bit more love instead of a little bit more hate, that's going to go literally to the other end of the world, we're all connected. And it does have an effect. You're going to have an effect on one person, the next person, the next person, and it will, it will go along and it will pass along. So do your best. He knows to spread that versus the, Hey honestly, like I think in the first part of my life, a lot of what I was doing was simply in reaction to the hurt and the pain that I felt. And I have to check myself even as an adult. And when I'm older now, like, Hey, rock, is this a response to something you're feeling, you know, or is this valid? And, and nine times out of 10, I found out that, Hey, this is a response, Rocky. And you're, you're responding in a way that would, would say that you have nothing to her and hate inside of you because I do, I do believe that like the majority of what we put out is the majority of what is inside of us. And that means like if some person can like come to a city and hate it and think it's a cold and snowy and this and that, and the next person can come there and say, wow, it's the snow is so white and beautiful. And it makes the houses look different, you know? And it's the same exact environment, situation experience and people are looking at it in two different perspectives and one is giving it love and enjoying the beauty of it. One is looking at how it's making them call it. And, and then the negative part of it, you know, both are, they're both, they're real, both are valid. It's really depending on how do you want your life to look at it because it's your choice. I know, like when I make bad decisions about what's going on around me, no one else is doing that. I'm choosing to see you like this, even in prison. Like it's so tough because I have been a convict. It's not easy to say when you're behind four walls and you can't get out, I've been in prisons of boot camps and jail since I was 12 years old, even in there though, you know, like, and I see, I saw it. There are people that have done 20 years that every morning, Los Carlos, like the biggest smile he got locked up when he was 17. And he still was there the biggest smile, the most helpful person will bring you a coffee, like, and just, you know, so, so happy to be there and be like, so happy to meet each and every person and just learn about their story and learn about the outside world or anything. And that's key. It's clutch, man. Like it's all about the way you see and look at it. Even if you're in the middle of a horrible situation at those times, those are the most important to us. If you can somehow flip it and say, you know what, there is a good side to this. And you know, that doesn't mean like forget, you know, all the bad stuff that happened and stuff you need to take care of that just a small shift in your heart and your mind saying, you know what, this has happened. This is what it is now. It's my choice to let it ruin me and take me down that bad hill. And let me say, forget everything or to readjust, feel it, find the good parts of it in and move on and grow beyond it.

Jackie Capers Brown:

Yes, because we all are looking at our life through our own lens. And so just like sunglasses that come in different shades, but we're seeing through those sunglasses look completely different because there are different lenses on them.

Rocky Singh Kandola:

To me, that's like, this has come up a lot in my life recently. It's so scary to think about like really step back outside of yourself and look at, wash, thinking about things and say, Hey, you know, like, am I really seeing things for the way they are and what they are, or am I seeing it the way I see it? You know? Like, and it takes a good bit of stepping back to reality, especially when for upset or hurt or mad or in a low place, it's tough to do. You have to like to humble yourself, you know, and say like, you have to humble yourself and just say, you know what, maybe, maybe I'm not right about every single thing, you know? And like, that doesn't mean you're a wrong person or you're about everything, but it does mean sometimes just take a step back, I think, and at least ask yourself, could I be seeing the only my way, you know, is there another way that it could be the actual, what it is or, you know, or, and then the other step further, let me take a view from other peoples as well.

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Let me see how else this could be affecting things. And it sounds overwhelming a lot, but once you kind of become a little bit more in tune with that and let go of a lot of distractions. And especially for me, it's one of the big things is like letting go of smoking weed. It clears my mind and my head up enough to see that. And I realized like I even had like a time the last year where I went back in and spoken a little bit and I realized like, you know what, not that it's a horrible thing, but it definitely does cloud me when it comes to being able to separate emotion and intuition, anxiety and sees things clearly what they are. Because I think a lot of, especially in those people that are felons or that have been through it, I'm not saying I don't want to judge anybody, but a lot of us smoke weed or have, and I think a lot of us do it as like, ''oh, that was cool. We smoked last night and it's not a big deal. You know, it's the vibe''. But at the end of the day, and I don't think many people are willing to admit it. I definitely wasn't. We smoke and we do that kind of stuff to cover up or to shove down or to ignore something that might be bugging bothering or hurting us, or even there even. because we feel like we're scared of success sometimes like, 'Hey, I know if I go this, I'll level up and do better but if I level up and do better. I won't have this person and that person, I won't have the comfort of not having to do anything and like, can I even handle it? What if I level up to get better? And then I fail. So there's all these fears and things that are going on. And the reason I know it I'm attuned to it now is that once again like I've gone through all these in my brain also, like, and I still do.

Jackie Capers Brown:

Yes, yes, absolutely. And that's why I believe that because of the fact that you have gone through those experiences and you do know the challenges that are in front of the individuals who have had an experience with the justice system here in Us, that you could be a voice of reason, but also a voice that inspires people to believe in themselves. And because oftentimes when we're young and we make these poor choices, we haven't really gotten to know who we are. We're just basically making decisions based on reactions, based on emotions. Because as scientists have found out, our brain is not completely developed to where in our twenties anyway. So I, the emotional brain is really controlling a lot of what we do when we make these decisions at a young age because we are, I guess, teens, people will expect you to be able to make rational decisions. And yes, there are some things, there is a responsibility of owning your choices, but we also have to understand the biology. When I found, recognize that I understood why my emotions were defining a lot of my decisions from the age of 14 to 19, I could, I could see it, but that was, you know, me with hindsight. And that's why I b