Live On The Life Pix Relationships Podcast

As the saying goes, "Hurt people hurt people." But does that mean that hurt people can't love? Rocky Singh Kandola proves us otherwise.

Rocky spent his “high school” life in 9 different facilities, schools, and boot camps across the world, some of which are now closed due to severe child abuse, rape, and torture. Rocky almost died at least 7 times, that he can recall. Half of his face and jaw are fake from an attempted murder on his life. Rocky has been shot at, stabbed, kidnapped, and kicked in the face. Rocky has been hurt, hurt, and seen hurt up close.

He is also loved, have seen love, and love. Today he has an incredible relationship, amazing friends, and family in almost every continent in the world. His business allows him to travel freely and meet these amazing souls across our planet. He can speak 4 languages and hold a conversation with any man, woman, or child in the world. Rocky follows his heart and lets his guard down with new loving people around the world without thinking twice. Rocky works hard and plays hard. He grows businesses and helps others daily.

Connect with Rocky: Website: https://www.hairmaidenindia.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/HairMaidenIndia Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/rocky.kandola Instagram: Http://www.instagram.com/HairMaidenIndia Instagram: Http://www.instagram.com/hairmaidenindia Twitter: Http://www.twitter.com/HairMaidenIndia YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbp2UesWGRO27mbKCqXvCRg Ready to make your relationship a genius one? Head over to GeniusRelationships.com where ST with marriage specialists are waiting for you !

Host:

Hey guys, it's SD your Host of the life pix relationship podcast, where people with all sorts of backgrounds, challenges, and life experience, show us how they make their relationship. Extraordinary. Hey guys, hope you're having an awesome day and find ways to bring adventure to your life. Even if you can't travel. I know that's so hard. I'm not taking that in as an answer and travelling anyways, but don't tell anyone. Today, we've got another adventurous story for the good, for the worst. I'm not sure what to say. You'll have to figure that out for yourself. Here's a man who went through a lot. Now, when I say a lot, I mean our real law to put it in his own words, he says he's been hurt, seen her up close and has her today. He is loved, sees love and loves others. Thank you so much Rocky Singh Kandola for being here. I am so excited to hear more about your story guys. If you want to learn more about him, go to RockyKandola.com. I'm going to put that and all his links in the show note. So that way you could go and find out more about him. Rocky, let's do this. Let's start by going back to the beginning. You want to start by telling us what your life was like as a little kid?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Yeah, saw my parents were born in India and they migrated to the US about five or 10 years before I was born. And they were in New York at the time and that's where I was born in New York. My brother and sister were born a short distance away in Ohio, kind of moved around a lot at a young age. And I don't remember the younger times, but eventually, my father moved the whole family to the deep south in Mississippi. And that's where I pastored my childhood years and started growing up and you know, learning about life. And that's actually also where my father and I kind of like started bumping heads because he wanted me to stay on the study. I wanted to be out and about play sports, hang out with friends. And I'll, you know, as an end integration father and kind of really bumped heads. And I was very talking, talking back a lot. I was very hyper-energetic and always want to do something. So I started getting sent around to schools and you know, a lot of those schools are boot camps, military schools you know, random Catholic boarding schools. Some of what, you know, has now been closed due to child abuse trauma, all kinds of other things like that.

Host:

Your siblings were also assigned to other schools or just you because you weren't behaving?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Yeah. My brother says you've got to stay at home the whole time they were, they were the good ones. They are. They made it through all the way.

Host:

You did Homeschooling?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

I know they just went to school, like the neighbourhood school in our town. They never really had to go anywhere else out of town. They asked me and I was like, home for six months, then sent to India or Mexico or Canada, the border of Canada. Like there are different random schools all over the place. Exactly. It was kinda like more of like a punishment type of thing a, of these schools parents Celts and did a documentary about a recently called this is me, it's on Netflix. And she was kind of going into details about these schools that they kidnapped the kids, they manipulate the parents and kids, and like, they're abusive as far as, you know, a lot of sexual drama, a lot of physical trauma, a lot of mental trauma, or just the way the whole program is structured. Basically a big brainwash and abusive kind of traumatic experience for someone at that age. As well as on top of that long, the parents in the face of, you know, medical conditions, educational conditions even going so far as, to not being a high school credited campus not being able to give people diplomas like me that graduated from there. You know, years later I found out I didn't have a high school diploma.

Host:

Oh, wow. So your parents completely didn't know what was going on.

Rocky Singh Kandola:

No, I mean, they, they heard what I told them, but, you know, the programs would tell the kid, the parents that, you know, your kids are going to lie to. You manipulate you to don't believe them. Like for me in particular I was physically kind of thrown around a lot there. And when I was 12 years old, I went there, I have kicked down the hallway put on my stomach, sat on top of my back and my hand hands and feet were tied to each other. You know, so that was, I spent a couple of days like that amongst other, you know, various times and other kids have way worse stories than that even. You know, so it's pretty, pretty crazy places.

Host:

Okay. So that was your childhood. How did you see the leader on how that affected you?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Yeah affected me a lot throughout my life. You know, when I, when I got done with the childhood, you know, got out of college and everything, I kind of have one of those attitudes where authority couldn't tell me anything. I was a man now, and that kind of led me straight into diving into the women, to parties, to selling drugs, to doing drugs, to just the craziest lifestyle you can imagine from Robin and getting robbed, you know, fighting bars, clubs up all night, you know, asleep all day. And you know, I'll kind of just go straight into that lifestyle until eventually allowed me in prison. You know, in Alabama state prison. And from there you know, even after I got out, I was still kind of in the same lifestyle until finally one day I decided to you know, my father kind of nudged me a little bit. And instead of not listening to one like that in the past, I kind of have like a different spirit, different energy coming to me and say, you know, Rocky is the time to try something different. And I left, you know, I left everything I knew behind from my girlfriends at the time to my circles, to everything I was doing to make money and everything, and just went to India and started living A clean life.

Host:

You said before you went to college, you went to a regular college when you went to college.

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Yeah. University of the south, Alabama in Mobile, Alabama.

Host:

Okay. So like, did you not see the difference right away that like, this is what normal school is versus what you had before?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

So I had the whole array as I kind of fast forward through the story, but I went to public schools. I went to private schools, I went to boarding school, I went to military schools, they went to schools out of the country and I went to the boot camps and the facilities I was mentioning earlier too. So I had a good idea of what was supposed to be, you know, quote-unquote, normal of verses like you, the crazy stuff I was going through.

Host:

Okay. So do you think that made it worse? Like if you would have been a bit naive and think this is normal, do you think that would have been easier?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Yeah, I would imagine like if you allocate into the environments that I was in without knowing anything else even when I was there, you know, it became normal to me even nowadays when I tell people that we couldn't talk to anybody else, we're all we have to walk the straight lines. We couldn't, you know, sit down or stand out without permission. We didn't have access to any normal medical things or food, or even I would have to like shovel sand from one side of the court, to the other people like, wow, that's that happens. People get kidnapped out of their bed at 12 years old and escorted across the country to some other place. For me, the survivors of us they've been through it. They, they are kind of normal, you know? And that's why talking about it helps because you realize like, nobody else, like they're like, wow, this is not a normal thing. This is, you know, it's crazily traumatic. And as an adult, I've started kind of dealing with that more because as I said, I got in so much trouble afterwards myself as an adult, the childhood stuff kind of went to the back. And now since I've started changing things, I've had to go back and face all that childhood stuff that, you know, kind of hurt back then.

Host:

Okay. Fine back to your story now. So you went to India and

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Yeah, from India. As I said, I was living a clean life and that actually transitions into how I met my now ex-wife. I was there and I was living in the villages and Punjab and some cousins I knew from Canada were in India on a wedding, in New Delhi. And one of those cousins had gone to high school with my now ex-wife. And that's, that's where I started on, met her. We were at a wedding together there and you know, things move kind of fast. We are talking a little bit within two months, we were engaged in India within four to five months after that we were in America and, you know, getting married for Mila. Like it was kind of like at that point in my life, I was looking for new things and I wanted to do different, be better. I was ready to commit to a relationship with one person. However, my habits, what I was doing in my life, the way I viewed things, my career path and everything was still very underdeveloped at that point, I was just getting into it. So that caused, you know, heavy, heavy strains and relationship in the beginning. In fact, like, you know, in Indian families, when you go to meet an Indian daughters parents, you know, it's kind of like insinuated that, you know, you're looking to get married and as soon as I sat down and said, so you want to marry our daughter. And I was just like yeah. And they're like, you know, what's your plans? What do you have in mind now? I'm a pretty open person. You know, it's like the first time I met them there, I told him everything about a prison, my experience with girls and drugs and this and that. And I told me, you know, now that I've kind of, I've just been changing things and I really want to do something good. And when I was in prison, I made this business plan for here and I throw the things that I do good. And I kind of pitch it to them. And now they were in agreeance with it. I said, you know, okay, if you want to stand our daughter and data, you're going to have to get engaged in India, then, you know, get married as soon as you get to America. And kind of, you know, the way when I don't have any hatred against my heart for it, you know, in the very beginning, like since, you know, we know now that it was my ex-wife had a lot of hate. My heart was very upset. I think it was more emotion, you know, and feeling hurt and hateful also very hard. So you're not kind of took it out in a very angry sense of, I hate those people. Like they're, they're never gonna be my family, you know, that I thought they were my family. I don't want, I don't want to talk to them. And I kind of went through a very deep and dark hole where I kind of slept back and, you know, drinking and driving around and being in random clubs in Hollywood and you know, doing drugs in the bathroom and I'll be calling

Host:

Hold on a second. When you are in there in the beginning, like that stage, like when you met those parents and you want to start over, were you getting any help at that point?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Yes, my father was helping me a little bit at that point. He was helping pay for our rent in the beginning. And then I had an injury when I was assaulted almost in a, thrown into a concrete sidewalk where I had a lawsuit and such that, that money from the injury lawsuit, as well as, you know, a little bit help from dad. And that's where I kind of started things back then, you know, very shaky ground, not much say if my own if I had to go back and do it again, I probably would've done the same way, but if I knew now what it takes to quote-unquote, be a grownup and manage your own life and handle your business and your life and yourself. I would've probably said I wasn't ready at that point, you know, to, to jump into that

Host:

You weren't seeing any therapist or guide in that way?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

No, I mean, at that point I will really, I wouldn't say I was closed off to it. I'll be in, you know, the previous 20 years of my life, I was forced to go to therapy and psychotherapy and 20, 30, 40 psychologist, psychiatrist programs, people doing all kinds of the tests on me. Yeah. And I was like, no, I'm not talking to these guys. I'm not taking any medicines anymore. Leave me alone. It's always been the last four years that I've personally internally reached out for guidance support and help from, you know, knowledge books and YouTube sources, but actual people as well/

Host:

More like therapists, coaches, just like what type of people?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

A lot of has been like, you know, YouTube Dr Wayne Dyer, Joe Dispenza, Tim Ferris Robin Sharma Ralph smart, a lot of people on YouTube that helped me in some very, very dark times and got me on a line where it was like, okay, now I tried to reach out to Ralph smart and Robin Sharma and a couple of those guys that I can never get like an answerback. So I was like, okay, it's time for me to, you know, find someone around the area that I can start talking to. And to be honest, I never found many people. I had to kind of keep it more like I did talk with therapists for a while. I had to keep it more like self-therapy in, in the, in so much as reaching out to are on YouTube and podcasts and just finding this information that I needed to hear myself. And I remember at the beginning, I would just, like, I remember like when my ex-wife first left, I would listen to like what I was smart and Robin Sharma. And I'll just be like, I remember specifically I'd be at work in the morning. I'll be on a, on working out on an elliptical and be listening to stuff. And he'd be like crying while I'm working out. And like, not cause I was like so sad because I was just like, I have a feeling that like, this is what I need to hear. I don't get it. I'm not understanding what it means. Like, what am I doing wrong? Like, why am I so bad? Why am I so wrong? Why does my ex hate me? You know, like a lot of self-hate. And it took like, obviously it was some other power to like, you know, making me like keep listening to them because I was like hurting when I was listening to them. But I think instead of framing it as hurt, like if I could have back then just healing from it like I need to hear this and understand it. I needed to be, you know, exposed to it. Cause before that I was, I never, I didn't have that stuff in my life as much. It was more craziness, violence, gangs, drugs, parties, this and that. And now starting feeding myself with this. So it was like, I remember sometimes thinking like, geez, like how much time did you wish off? You know, like why, why did you put this stuff in your body, in your mind? Like way before the beginning, how things could have been different. And eventually, it got to a point where I was like, you know, that's not the point. The point is, this is the journey. This is how it happened. And I'm grateful that I actually, you know had the chance to learn all this. And, and that's why I've come like in a place and ex-wife as well. Like now we're, we're friends, you know, we're not friends, but we're amicable. You know, we can speak to each other. There's no hatred there anymore. You know, took, you know, kind of going through all that learning and growing for me to, to get to that point.

Host: