Live On The Life Pix Relationships Podcast

As the saying goes, "Hurt people hurt people." But does that mean that hurt people can't love? Rocky Singh Kandola proves us otherwise.

Rocky spent his “high school” life in 9 different facilities, schools, and boot camps across the world, some of which are now closed due to severe child abuse, rape, and torture. Rocky almost died at least 7 times, that he can recall. Half of his face and jaw are fake from an attempted murder on his life. Rocky has been shot at, stabbed, kidnapped, and kicked in the face. Rocky has been hurt, hurt, and seen hurt up close.

He is also loved, have seen love, and love. Today he has an incredible relationship, amazing friends, and family in almost every continent in the world. His business allows him to travel freely and meet these amazing souls across our planet. He can speak 4 languages and hold a conversation with any man, woman, or child in the world. Rocky follows his heart and lets his guard down with new loving people around the world without thinking twice. Rocky works hard and plays hard. He grows businesses and helps others daily.

Connect with Rocky: Website: https://www.hairmaidenindia.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/HairMaidenIndia Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/rocky.kandola Instagram: Http://www.instagram.com/HairMaidenIndia Instagram: Http://www.instagram.com/hairmaidenindia Twitter: Http://www.twitter.com/HairMaidenIndia YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbp2UesWGRO27mbKCqXvCRg Ready to make your relationship a genius one? Head over to GeniusRelationships.com where ST with marriage specialists are waiting for you !

Host:

Hey guys, it's SD your Host of the life pix relationship podcast, where people with all sorts of backgrounds, challenges, and life experience, show us how they make their relationship. Extraordinary. Hey guys, hope you're having an awesome day and find ways to bring adventure to your life. Even if you can't travel. I know that's so hard. I'm not taking that in as an answer and travelling anyways, but don't tell anyone. Today, we've got another adventurous story for the good, for the worst. I'm not sure what to say. You'll have to figure that out for yourself. Here's a man who went through a lot. Now, when I say a lot, I mean our real law to put it in his own words, he says he's been hurt, seen her up close and has her today. He is loved, sees love and loves others. Thank you so much Rocky Singh Kandola for being here. I am so excited to hear more about your story guys. If you want to learn more about him, go to RockyKandola.com. I'm going to put that and all his links in the show note. So that way you could go and find out more about him. Rocky, let's do this. Let's start by going back to the beginning. You want to start by telling us what your life was like as a little kid?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Yeah, saw my parents were born in India and they migrated to the US about five or 10 years before I was born. And they were in New York at the time and that's where I was born in New York. My brother and sister were born a short distance away in Ohio, kind of moved around a lot at a young age. And I don't remember the younger times, but eventually, my father moved the whole family to the deep south in Mississippi. And that's where I pastored my childhood years and started growing up and you know, learning about life. And that's actually also where my father and I kind of like started bumping heads because he wanted me to stay on the study. I wanted to be out and about play sports, hang out with friends. And I'll, you know, as an end integration father and kind of really bumped heads. And I was very talking, talking back a lot. I was very hyper-energetic and always want to do something. So I started getting sent around to schools and you know, a lot of those schools are boot camps, military schools you know, random Catholic boarding schools. Some of what, you know, has now been closed due to child abuse trauma, all kinds of other things like that.

Host:

Your siblings were also assigned to other schools or just you because you weren't behaving?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Yeah. My brother says you've got to stay at home the whole time they were, they were the good ones. They are. They made it through all the way.

Host:

You did Homeschooling?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

I know they just went to school, like the neighbourhood school in our town. They never really had to go anywhere else out of town. They asked me and I was like, home for six months, then sent to India or Mexico or Canada, the border of Canada. Like there are different random schools all over the place. Exactly. It was kinda like more of like a punishment type of thing a, of these schools parents Celts and did a documentary about a recently called this is me, it's on Netflix. And she was kind of going into details about these schools that they kidnapped the kids, they manipulate the parents and kids, and like, they're abusive as far as, you know, a lot of sexual drama, a lot of physical trauma, a lot of mental trauma, or just the way the whole program is structured. Basically a big brainwash and abusive kind of traumatic experience for someone at that age. As well as on top of that long, the parents in the face of, you know, medical conditions, educational conditions even going so far as, to not being a high school credited campus not being able to give people diplomas like me that graduated from there. You know, years later I found out I didn't have a high school diploma.

Host:

Oh, wow. So your parents completely didn't know what was going on.

Rocky Singh Kandola:

No, I mean, they, they heard what I told them, but, you know, the programs would tell the kid, the parents that, you know, your kids are going to lie to. You manipulate you to don't believe them. Like for me in particular I was physically kind of thrown around a lot there. And when I was 12 years old, I went there, I have kicked down the hallway put on my stomach, sat on top of my back and my hand hands and feet were tied to each other. You know, so that was, I spent a couple of days like that amongst other, you know, various times and other kids have way worse stories than that even. You know, so it's pretty, pretty crazy places.

Host:

Okay. So that was your childhood. How did you see the leader on how that affected you?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Yeah affected me a lot throughout my life. You know, when I, when I got done with the childhood, you know, got out of college and everything, I kind of have one of those attitudes where authority couldn't tell me anything. I was a man now, and that kind of led me straight into diving into the women, to parties, to selling drugs, to doing drugs, to just the craziest lifestyle you can imagine from Robin and getting robbed, you know, fighting bars, clubs up all night, you know, asleep all day. And you know, I'll kind of just go straight into that lifestyle until eventually allowed me in prison. You know, in Alabama state prison. And from there you know, even after I got out, I was still kind of in the same lifestyle until finally one day I decided to you know, my father kind of nudged me a little bit. And instead of not listening to one like that in the past, I kind of have like a different spirit, different energy coming to me and say, you know, Rocky is the time to try something different. And I left, you know, I left everything I knew behind from my girlfriends at the time to my circles, to everything I was doing to make money and everything, and just went to India and started living A clean life.

Host:

You said before you went to college, you went to a regular college when you went to college.

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Yeah. University of the south, Alabama in Mobile, Alabama.

Host:

Okay. So like, did you not see the difference right away that like, this is what normal school is versus what you had before?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

So I had the whole array as I kind of fast forward through the story, but I went to public schools. I went to private schools, I went to boarding school, I went to military schools, they went to schools out of the country and I went to the boot camps and the facilities I was mentioning earlier too. So I had a good idea of what was supposed to be, you know, quote-unquote, normal of verses like you, the crazy stuff I was going through.

Host:

Okay. So do you think that made it worse? Like if you would have been a bit naive and think this is normal, do you think that would have been easier?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Yeah, I would imagine like if you allocate into the environments that I was in without knowing anything else even when I was there, you know, it became normal to me even nowadays when I tell people that we couldn't talk to anybody else, we're all we have to walk the straight lines. We couldn't, you know, sit down or stand out without permission. We didn't have access to any normal medical things or food, or even I would have to like shovel sand from one side of the court, to the other people like, wow, that's that happens. People get kidnapped out of their bed at 12 years old and escorted across the country to some other place. For me, the survivors of us they've been through it. They, they are kind of normal, you know? And that's why talking about it helps because you realize like, nobody else, like they're like, wow, this is not a normal thing. This is, you know, it's crazily traumatic. And as an adult, I've started kind of dealing with that more because as I said, I got in so much trouble afterwards myself as an adult, the childhood stuff kind of went to the back. And now since I've started changing things, I've had to go back and face all that childhood stuff that, you know, kind of hurt back then.

Host:

Okay. Fine back to your story now. So you went to India and

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Yeah, from India. As I said, I was living a clean life and that actually transitions into how I met my now ex-wife. I was there and I was living in the villages and Punjab and some cousins I knew from Canada were in India on a wedding, in New Delhi. And one of those cousins had gone to high school with my now ex-wife. And that's, that's where I started on, met her. We were at a wedding together there and you know, things move kind of fast. We are talking a little bit within two months, we were engaged in India within four to five months after that we were in America and, you know, getting married for Mila. Like it was kind of like at that point in my life, I was looking for new things and I wanted to do different, be better. I was ready to commit to a relationship with one person. However, my habits, what I was doing in my life, the way I viewed things, my career path and everything was still very underdeveloped at that point, I was just getting into it. So that caused, you know, heavy, heavy strains and relationship in the beginning. In fact, like, you know, in Indian families, when you go to meet an Indian daughters parents, you know, it's kind of like insinuated that, you know, you're looking to get married and as soon as I sat down and said, so you want to marry our daughter. And I was just like yeah. And they're like, you know, what's your plans? What do you have in mind now? I'm a pretty open person. You know, it's like the first time I met them there, I told him everything about a prison, my experience with girls and drugs and this and that. And I told me, you know, now that I've kind of, I've just been changing things and I really want to do something good. And when I was in prison, I made this business plan for here and I throw the things that I do good. And I kind of pitch it to them. And now they were in agreeance with it. I said, you know, okay, if you want to stand our daughter and data, you're going to have to get engaged in India, then, you know, get married as soon as you get to America. And kind of, you know, the way when I don't have any hatred against my heart for it, you know, in the very beginning, like since, you know, we know now that it was my ex-wife had a lot of hate. My heart was very upset. I think it was more emotion, you know, and feeling hurt and hateful also very hard. So you're not kind of took it out in a very angry sense of, I hate those people. Like they're, they're never gonna be my family, you know, that I thought they were my family. I don't want, I don't want to talk to them. And I kind of went through a very deep and dark hole where I kind of slept back and, you know, drinking and driving around and being in random clubs in Hollywood and you know, doing drugs in the bathroom and I'll be calling

Host:

Hold on a second. When you are in there in the beginning, like that stage, like when you met those parents and you want to start over, were you getting any help at that point?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Yes, my father was helping me a little bit at that point. He was helping pay for our rent in the beginning. And then I had an injury when I was assaulted almost in a, thrown into a concrete sidewalk where I had a lawsuit and such that, that money from the injury lawsuit, as well as, you know, a little bit help from dad. And that's where I kind of started things back then, you know, very shaky ground, not much say if my own if I had to go back and do it again, I probably would've done the same way, but if I knew now what it takes to quote-unquote, be a grownup and manage your own life and handle your business and your life and yourself. I would've probably said I wasn't ready at that point, you know, to, to jump into that

Host:

You weren't seeing any therapist or guide in that way?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

No, I mean, at that point I will really, I wouldn't say I was closed off to it. I'll be in, you know, the previous 20 years of my life, I was forced to go to therapy and psychotherapy and 20, 30, 40 psychologist, psychiatrist programs, people doing all kinds of the tests on me. Yeah. And I was like, no, I'm not talking to these guys. I'm not taking any medicines anymore. Leave me alone. It's always been the last four years that I've personally internally reached out for guidance support and help from, you know, knowledge books and YouTube sources, but actual people as well/

Host:

More like therapists, coaches, just like what type of people?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

A lot of has been like, you know, YouTube Dr Wayne Dyer, Joe Dispenza, Tim Ferris Robin Sharma Ralph smart, a lot of people on YouTube that helped me in some very, very dark times and got me on a line where it was like, okay, now I tried to reach out to Ralph smart and Robin Sharma and a couple of those guys that I can never get like an answerback. So I was like, okay, it's time for me to, you know, find someone around the area that I can start talking to. And to be honest, I never found many people. I had to kind of keep it more like I did talk with therapists for a while. I had to keep it more like self-therapy in, in the, in so much as reaching out to are on YouTube and podcasts and just finding this information that I needed to hear myself. And I remember at the beginning, I would just, like, I remember like when my ex-wife first left, I would listen to like what I was smart and Robin Sharma. And I'll just be like, I remember specifically I'd be at work in the morning. I'll be on a, on working out on an elliptical and be listening to stuff. And he'd be like crying while I'm working out. And like, not cause I was like so sad because I was just like, I have a feeling that like, this is what I need to hear. I don't get it. I'm not understanding what it means. Like, what am I doing wrong? Like, why am I so bad? Why am I so wrong? Why does my ex hate me? You know, like a lot of self-hate. And it took like, obviously it was some other power to like, you know, making me like keep listening to them because I was like hurting when I was listening to them. But I think instead of framing it as hurt, like if I could have back then just healing from it like I need to hear this and understand it. I needed to be, you know, exposed to it. Cause before that I was, I never, I didn't have that stuff in my life as much. It was more craziness, violence, gangs, drugs, parties, this and that. And now starting feeding myself with this. So it was like, I remember sometimes thinking like, geez, like how much time did you wish off? You know, like why, why did you put this stuff in your body, in your mind? Like way before the beginning, how things could have been different. And eventually, it got to a point where I was like, you know, that's not the point. The point is, this is the journey. This is how it happened. And I'm grateful that I actually, you know had the chance to learn all this. And, and that's why I've come like in a place and ex-wife as well. Like now we're, we're friends, you know, we're not friends, but we're amicable. You know, we can speak to each other. There's no hatred there anymore. You know, took, you know, kind of going through all that learning and growing for me to, to get to that point.

Host:

What do you see showing up in your marriage because of what happened before? Like what were certain pattern behaviours that now, you know, won't happen because you're in a completely different place?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Yeah. I mean, so that's the thing, like we growing and healing, like, you know, sometimes things do pop up again. It's all about how you deal with them now. Right? Like, cause in the past, I mean, if my relationship now, like I'll start to feel insecure or I'll start to feel like untrusting. After all, I hate to pinpoint it in one instance to happen because my whole life, especially my childhood was filled with insecure situations that made me feel like I wasn't to be able to be taken care of or I'll just be thrown away. People will be there for a minute and then be gone out of my life. All kinds of things like that. So you know, it did cause a lot of trust issues insecurity, but now like when it comes up harder, I can kind of, you know, look into it and, and, and see it more and you know, kind of try to slow down and breathe. Like, you know, think, well what's going on act differently. And, and that's what I'm doing. You know, sometimes I still get caught up in, you know, thinking and overthinking and after just breathe and realize, you know, things are happening as they're supposed to, you know, I am worth love. I am worth trusting and I do trust and I do love and you know, all that is all happening following the way it's supposed to. And if I do get hurt again you know, it's okay. Like I will be okay if beyond it. And I will grow from it and I shouldn't stop live or be scared to live life or scared to love again or scared to meet people again. Just cause it hurts so bad. And I, it scared me so much, you know, it's much easier said than done. However, it's very empowering and very healing and growing when you do that. And I mean, I never thought it'd be anyone else, except my ex-wife when I started dating her, I met her. I was in a relationship a year after that. It lasted for a year and I thought the same thing about, you know, that person, I'll now start to realize the pattern like, you know, love is big for me. The communication connection is really big for me. But when my last night's show, but that ended, I've kinda made promises to myself about how I'm going to go into the next relationship about what I want and how I want to be and how I want to be different. I've done very well. You can probably ask my girlfriend now and she might be able to have some I'd love to speak to her. I mean, we talk about this stuff too, like, and she's actually kind of very aligned on the same speaking and standing up castles in the same thing I listen to. So very used to speak to, and to me, that was one thing I'm missing in my bachelor's internship was the lack of communication, like, you know, like of real communication, like from the heart, especially like during times of like hurt or trouble or issues. And you know, I mean her now or like much better on that.

Host:

What specific way do you now communicate with her that people who are listening can go and copy that from you?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Two things and they have to go hand in hand and batted be balanced. One is being very assertive and clear about what it is you want to talk about and two's being patient and understanding that other person might not want to talk about it. Right. Then there, you have to let them process things and you know, you process things yourself and go into the first part. I'm very good with being assertive and talking about it, the ladder, which is the patients kind of falter sometimes. You know, and, and it's a learning process. I learn more and more than you know, that everyone processes and sees things and wants to talk about things differently. I think the important part is, and in which I'm blessed and I'm happy to say that, you know, I do have now is, is the fact that you do, you know, get that communication across eventually, you know, meeting each other, you know, for your, our own unique communicative and, and loving needs. We kind of meet there in the middle and then learn to talk about it. And then, you know, my thing, like things just flowing and they have been with life and personal stuff. And even though I'd had, I think me and her above, like, you feel like we're feeling weird, feeling like stuck or feeling like something is off. And like just the fact that we verbalized and we realized that we kind of like we're able to both think about things separately on our own. We went through our day and, you know, eventually not feel like that, you know, anymore. And you know, that's the thing in relationships. Like it's like two different people coming together. Like not just be like one person, like you're still kind of two unique individual people. And like you're sharing a space which has a relationship you're going to bring your own like for me I have my family issues going on. I have business issues, I have this and that, you know, and then for her, like she has, you know, medical stuff going on and her family issues and having a baby for her sister. And there's like all this stuff that, you know, that we need to be able to like to lean on a little bit, I guess our partners with and discuss it and stuff. But we all process it and view it and have different stories from it. So there's like a very special, magical little way in the middle that it all kind of makes sense and meets where we find love. And that's kind of like, instead of like, love being just a random thing or object that's when it becomes like a verb and action, you sharing that love, sharing those moments, sharing those times and communicating about it and, and growing from it together and individually,

Host:

I love that so much. What else do you do now in the relationship that you haven't done before?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Communication is one of the biggest things for the one to like when some arguments and issues do come up is, is facing them instead of like, you know, throwing them under the rug and just, you know, saying, oh, it's okay. Now things will be better. And then like the relation is different. Every person's different, unique. And I used to believe that all you're going to find just one person, that's the person, you know what I mean? That's the way it's going to be. I've learned that you know, everyone's in, your life for a reason and you're in everyone, else's life for a reason as well. So you kind of really has to be grateful and happy for those moments. And what's cool is when two people align on that, you know, whether they slip here and there, or have like origin secures here and there, things do flow nicely. And I've kind of learned to trust that more, you know, sometimes I stop trusting it and I get, you know, all in my head. But when I can take a second and slow down and breathe like I realize that you have to trust the universe, you know, like it, it is going to kind of guide you in that way, you know, especially when you have good intentions and good heart behind it, you'll, you'll, you'll follow the right path below. You'll find the right things.

Host:

What made you have that trust? Was it like from some things that you saw or was like, I'm coming and just go and try this and see what happens?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Well, to me, and this might be the same as a lot of people that might be different to me having the lack of trust was killing me internally. You know, like the insecurity, the worrying, the not wanting to trust anybody. They want it. And because I'm a loving person that I need people are, I wouldn't say I need it, but I want people in my life that are good people that can talk to that are my friends that are my lovers. You're a human being that deserves it. Definitely, definitely. I want that. So I have to realize that like, Hey, if I'm going to not trust anything or anyone around me, and I'm going to be worried about this, I'm going to stress myself out, you know, bring myself down. And also in essence, like at the end of the day, take away the thing that I almost want the most, you know, and that's like, you know, sharing that love and that, and those connections and those times with the people that care about.

Host:

So what happened going back to your wife? Do you want to just continue that story? What, how, how did that finish?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Yeah, so basically we moved to New York, New Jersey for a while. We were living there, starting the business. I was teaching tenants and we quickly started arguing a lot. She was born in Barbara, in India. I was born and brought up here and we didn't understand each other and a lot of things and I could speak Punjabi and Hindi and she can speak English. But when you're talking about serious stuff, when you get upset and talk about it, I misinterpret stuff and she knows, interpreted stuff. And that kind of became a pattern in the very beginning. I didn't know what to do. I just had a new wife, I had to take care of her. And I was like, and she couldn't work. She was new in the country and stuff like that. So I was like, I got to go work. So I think a mistake I made back then, which has happened the way it happened. And for me, it was a big step because I never worked really in the past. I was always involved in that crazy lifestyle. I was like, you know, we got a spot here. It is. And I just started going out, looking for a job. And I quickly got one teaching tenants and I started doing that and just kind of got dove into that. And didn't put as much attention to the new relationship as I probably made it to. However, at that point I thought I couldn't, the only thing I could do is just try to work and make a living and, and make it work for us. So from there we just started fighting a lot more and a lot more short 18 months later, we had tried to go to California together and we drove there to live with our parents, our family there, and start a life in California, start a business there. You know, during that road trip from California to New York to California, we started arguing a lot too. Also kind of came into California on bad terms. And within two weeks she left then, you know, we got in a big argument and she went to the airport and went back to India and I had nowhere to stay. I was kind of just living on the street, living in the middle of a minivan, living in Hostels. And that's kind of where I changed a lot of things in my life. I went through a period of just really, really like depression, my drinking, like suicidal thoughts, like drugs, everything like really, really badly until I was like, you know what? Like, this is the way to do it. And so I started working to the winter bed and one thing she wanted was not to be getting held by my parents and to be having our business too well and being in LA and having our place.

Rocky Singh Kandola:

So I kind of worked my butt off. I just made it met clients made connections. I'm a convicted felon and I have no work history. So getting a spot was hard for me. I had to do a lot of things, jump through a lot of hurdles until I finally was able to get a small little studio downtown LA. Then she eventually came back after like, you know, me begging and talking and like our families talking and this and that. And then just the first day she came back, like, it was just not the right, you know, kinda like one of those things you force it and it's not meant to be, you know, it wouldn't work out.

Host:

Parents wanted it more than the two of you?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Yeah, I mean, I wanted it badly. And I think at that point, the reasons we wanted it was, I mean, I did love her very much and I still have like, you know, a special night smart love where I don't have any hatred towards her, but, you know, just kind of pushing it, you know, so hard. Like the parents want Indian food, Indian kids to be together. They don't want us to separate. And I don't think she wanted that anymore. She wanted something different as well. So when she came back, it was just arguing, arguing, arguing. And for the first three or four months, I kinda like took like, okay, because you're talking like really like rudely to me and was rough. And like, I was like, I want her back. Let me just, I do right. And then also our RD. And also so it was maybe a year, maybe a year at the most until like, you know, the second, you know, kind of large buy happened where we split up. Totally. And we haven't been together since then. And now since COVID has happened, our divorce paperwork still hasn't gone through yet, but we've talked about it. We know we're going to do and everything. We don't have kids or property together. We're kind of waiting a lot to happen. She's been in India for a year now and hasn't had another comeback to COVID also. But yeah, I mean, at the beginning of that, that, that after that second fight, we were at each other's throats for a good couple of months and it was craziness and back and forth and, and, you know, the family was involved and calling back and forth and things like that But we both, you know, time heals a lot of things and we talked about a lot, you know, slowly and thought about it. And then eventually just didn't talk at all and came to a place where like, you know, we able to talk to each other, you know, understanding sense one Christmas or somewhere. Like, I think last year I ran for that, but in Africa, another relationship actually, she randomly came to my house a little bit tipsy at two o'clock in the morning. And we talked for a couple of hours and like she was crying and I was Pilar apologizing about our mistakes. And then I dropped her off at the airport for a flight to go back to our family. And, you know, since then we've kind of in a place of, you know, like not being hurtful to each other, you know, any more and understanding each other. But it was quite a journey getting, getting through all that because you know, and how she got her green card and her visa for America and I was feeling like, oh, she used me for it. You know? And that, wasn't the case, like where like in the beginning it was real. When she came back, she had a couple of different intentions. Like it wasn't ever the intention just to use me for access to America, you know, like that just happened during the process, but that was the plans in the beginning.

Host:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a real journey. Do you think that the fact that you now have a good relationship affects your relationship now?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

I think it does. My ex-wife knows about the relationship I'm in now, you know, like and, and the one I was on the fourth is and my girlfriend now she knows most of the details, most, all the details of everything as well. I think I think for me, I hope that I'll work up to this because like when everyone has to go through the travelling part and for me, I needed to grow up during, during all that. And you know, I learned, I was in a lot of chocolates, just as a younger kid. You had the first girl I was ever in a relationship with. She kind of talked about my best friend in the past, then got with them and you know, broke up for like materialistic reasons. And then, you know, after that, I was in various relationships where like cheating and fighting and just craziness is always involved, you know? So it kind of became a pattern as well. And I had to step back and look and see, where am I you know, mistakes were, but also had to be gentle enough and understanding to understand that, you know, other people were involved and, you know, there are other things in play as well. And I don't have to be mad or upset at those things. I just have to look at my own, you know, and see what I cause and see what I attracted in my life as well. You know, with the craziness and the, and the lifestyle and the mindset I was living in at that point.

Host:

So taking responsibility for your life?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Yeah. It's one of those easier said than done things. It's like, I spent a good part of this year, pulling my hair out and like crying and sitting alone during quarantine facing a lot of these issues, you know, soberly, you know, with no drugs, no alcohol here and there. Like when corn, Janie was kind of tough not to like randomly drink every once in a while, but you know, these problems and issues like really, you know, I used to smoke a lot, a lot of weed every single day and take other drugs and stuff. During quarantine, I was just totally clean from that stuff and just facing things head-on. And it was tough. It was a lot of mental and that was pairing things, having dreams, like literally pulling my hair out by walking around you know, and writing and reading at the same time and meditating and praying at the same time as well. But you know, that was a very important, important step for me. It was kind of, kind of helping me get to the exact place where I am today, which I still call myself like a baby in this feeling and growing and journey process. My girlfriend studies and reads and understands a lot of this, you know, more than I do. And even today she told me, you sound like you're mad, you're talking about philosophy. And I'm like, no, I get like, you know, overly like hyper I wasn't excited about and passionate about things. So I've kind of comes out as like, maybe like a rude tone, but like, you know, I am learning a lot still. And I learned a lot from her daily. She has a very unique way of thinking. And I'm taking in all the information that I've been taking in myself the last year. So a lot of it does like kind of hit me and I kind of come like, Hey, like, what are you talking about? Like, this is the way it is, you know? And she kind of like, well, why are you talking like that? Like, I didn't know what she says like that. It's like, wait a minute. Oh, maybe I've always was different. And my voice was different. That means I was feeling something different. And if I was feeling something different, whereas that probably was wrong. Let me think about that a little bit.

Host:

Yeah. Getting to the core and understanding instead of just becoming defensive and like, Hey, like I wasn't my point. But really understanding like that came out of quarantine in a much better place than most people.

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Yeah. I know. I feel bad because a lot of people went the other way and for me, I got in, I didn't know what I was going to do. I was, I already knew I was in trouble when it happened. I was like, oh gosh, well cut off from everybody. Like what am I going to do? Hopefully, I'll be okay.

Host:

Yeah. This brings me to my next question. What's your love language?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

My love language is to act like acts of service, I think. And then quality

Host:

Time. I knew the quality time has to be one of your top two. Just from what you said about people.

Rocky Singh Kandola:

I think we can all have like a little bit of all of them, I guess.

Host:

And I think we all have like our mix of like what we like and everything, but there's like they say a healthy person could give and receive in all five love languages, but there's just like a Butch and prefer which one you like more. Yeah, definitely. Awesome. Okay. So my very last question for you is how would you describe an extraordinary relationship without using these three words, love, intimacy, and connection?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

I would describe it, I guess, the perfect relationship without love and smear connection. I would say two unique souls aligned on similar pets sharing experiences across the world. Travelling,

Host:

It has been to travel?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

It has to be in there a little bit

Host:

Without travelling. You're just missing out. Right.

Rocky Singh Kandola:

But yeah, just creating and experiencing new things and older things together with the right amount of you know, space and the right amount of unity going around your words a little bit at the same time. Yeah, all that together.

Host:

I love that. Awesome. Well, thank you so much, Rocky. This is amazing.