#TRAAE​​ S3: LIVE: Beyond The Surface. Life of Gratitude Is A Blessed Life with Rocky Singh Kandola

Premieres LIVE on YouTube on Friday April 16th, 2021 at 11:30am PST

ABOUT THE EPISODE: In today’s episode, Rocky Singh Kandola is sharing with us his transformation from being a prisoner to become a successful businessman. Rocky has half of his face and jaw replaced. He was attempted to murder, shot on, stubbed off, and he had 20 major surgeries in his life. He saw the dark part of life. He actually lived a life many won’t survive. I will be having a conversation with Rocky about life, philosophy, consciousness, how to overcome addiction, success, money, and most importantly, how to live and design your life consciously.


Let's dive in. =======


ABOUT THE GUEST: Rocky Singh Kandola is a successful Indian businessman born in New York City and living in Los Angeles; Founder & CEO Red Dot Imports LLC & Hair Maiden India. But it did not start that way. He spent his “high school” life in 9 different facilities and boot camps across the world, some of which are now closed due to severe child abuse, rape, and torture. He almost died at least 8 times; half of my face and jaw are fake from an attempted murder on my life. He has been shot at, stabbed, kidnapped, and kicked in the face. He has been hurt, hurt, and seen hurt up close.


Rocky is passionate to help spread the word to the world so the many people that share my background and/or can benefit from its story are able to gain peace, courage, and understanding. I look forward to sharing this journey with the world. Rocky uses his strength in communication with a diverse range of cultures to bridge the gap between people and countries along with products and/or services they trade. He shared his experiences and story to spread love, motivation, and inspiration to those who need it most.


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Keep Up with Rocky Singh Kandola on LinkedIn & Instagram!

Website: https://rockykandola.com​

Businesses: https://hairmaidenindia.com​https://manalitea.com​https://reddotimports.com​


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Listen to #TRAAE​​ on Spotify, Apple Podcast, and Youtube.


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Episode will premiere today on Youtube at 10:00 am pst:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsBPLED9Q6o





Abhinav Jain:

Hello everyone. I'm Abhinav Jain, and this is the real Abhinav audio experience. Welcome to the Real Abhinav audio experience. This is your host. Abhinav Jain and I aspire to make this podcast go beyond the surface in this podcast. I intend to bring you insights from the top. Most performers, no matter what industry they're in, talk about how they've done things differently to grow their minds and keep their physical and mental health and shape. My mission with this podcast is to help overwhelmed individuals learn ways to reduce their depression, anxiety, and live with peace and love. I just want to take a moment to thank our sponsors, blossom media studio. Thank you so much for creating and distributing my podcast and taking away literally every single thing that's involved with podcasting. So I can just spend the time to talk to my guests and create great episodes. All right, ladies. Welcome back to another episode of the Real Abhinav audio experience today. Again, I have a very special guest for you. I'm joined today with Rocky Singh Kandola aka Vikrum, joining us today from LA, where he lives a young 34-year-old successful businessman living now in LA, but born in New York has his own showroom now in good old Beverly Hills selling these amazing hair from India. And what you may not know about this gentleman is he was also a felon in a previous life. What's more interesting and intriguing to me and why I brought him on the show is he's also a philosophy graduate, but his story gets so deep. You guys wouldn't believe that when he was in the high school period of life when most of us are in our preteens and teens, early twenties, he ended up moving from facility to facility nine, to be exact things like boot camps across the world, places where they take kids to try to make them better. Most of those places don't exist today because Vikrum was actually part of some of the abuse that goes on in these kinds of places, crazy to hear. But, you know, we're hearing all kinds of insane things. These days in our world, most of his incidences in life revolved around getting in trouble with different people. He mentioned to me that he had half of his face and jaw replaced because of attempted murder in his life. He's been shot at. He's been stabbed at, he's been kidnapped. He's been kicked in the face, he's at around 20 major surgeries in his adult life. And he's definitely seen some dark parts of life. Vikrum. I want to first off thank you for being here. And I want to just take a moment to really not put any lightness to what you've come through, but I want to spend today not going into the details about how and what happened and more about how you got to where you are today and what that really means. So since you are a philosophy graduate and understand that word, I'm very curious to start out with, like, what is your current philosophy in life? Like all the things that you've gone through? Like what do you think we're all here for? And more importantly, what do you think you're here for? Yeah. So what's your philosophy in life?

Rocky Singh Kandola :

Definitely. So first of all, thank you for having me out here today as well. My brother, so my philosophy on life, and I guess it kind of changes that as, as we grow, as we learn, things might change over time. For me, I believe that we're all on our journeys and we all are connected in those journeys as well. We all have a spiritual kind of soul connection to the world and we're kind of pursuing and going after those journeys in life. I mean, it's hard to put our heart and minds and we kind of all end up in a great state. And I think what's happening around the world now is like so many people have gotten distracted by what they see on social media, about who they look up to and the superstars and the TV and the music they were forgetting you know, what it is that we're here to do in that it's kind of simple. I've learned slowly, which is it's hard to comprehend, but it's easy to say what we're already doing. I, when I look back and I see everything I've done, everything I've been through, I realized that in order for me to be the state, I am now mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, everything else, it kind of took all of that to get here for me personally, that's my journey. And my future journey is to share that and to share that knowledge with people, especially they're feeling stuck or feeling like they can't get out of the position you're in, or they went through a lot of heartaches or a lot of trauma or physical or sexual abuse. All these things are just known or words and things that happened to us, but the way we perceive them and the journey that we're on during them really kind of ends up being like your magical book, basically like what you, your gift to the world. And that's kind of my Philosophy. As once again, I read a lot, watch a lot of YouTube. And so every once in a while I have like a ship that comes in. I recently just read a couple of Paulo Coelho books, Alchemist, and the Pilgrimage. And it's really cool, just how it feels like I kind of reconfirm it myself. These books kind of came in front of me at this time. I was kind of dealing with a little bit of an issue in a personal relationship or mine. And it's just the way they came up to me. And the way these books was found me almost, and the medic was in them. And the words around them once again, kind of like made me realize, you know, especially for Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist, he talks a lot about omens and signs and things. And I realized that when I'm unconscious about, you know, what's going on around me, anything can happen. I can fly by who knows what's happening. I don't even feel like I'm in control of my life when I get conscious of these things. There are these signs around me, even from everything. So just having a little chill in your body, when you hear something, receive something and you really stop and say, you know, what is this here for? What does it teach me? What is the lesson behind it and what it was a mean? And he would consciously think about that. The power of that is just it's, it's universal. And it's, that's, that's like, I believe that is like the real connection to the soul, to the world and God.

Abhinav Jain:

Beautifully articulated, to say the least, and you very much today sitting in front of me in the present moment, sound like a man who has spent a lot of time reflecting on his past to get to where he is today. You said something very interesting to me. You said all these traumas, these past tragic events that have happened in your life are no longer in your reality, but they did happen at one point. And the reason I want to kind of dig into this is that a lot of times I think we overlook and we kind of glorify our past as if like, this is the thing that I have to use, like as a crutch for my entire being. It doesn't seem like that's the case with you, to me. Yes. That's your truth. That's what you've experienced. But the person that I feel like I'm talking to now is not that anymore. You clearly, life has thrown so much at you through the physical nature that we exist in, you know, with this body connected with this breath to our mind and the way we experience life through our senses. You're someone that I can see life has already given you in the short period that you've been around so much through the physical and the senses and the, and then like the abuse that would come to the body. But somehow your spirit, it just feels like it's very strong still. And I'm wondering what, what did it take to kind of keep that alive? Because most people would not have survived what you survived and they might not even get to this point of reflection where you've gotten to. So in, I know I'm asking you a big question, but I think what I'm trying to really understand here is how does a man go from getting, you know, his face, reshaped his body completely screwed up by different events, all that trauma, you know, and especially at a young age, I think drugs were involved in, of course, violence was involved. How does someone even like, get through any of that and get to where you are? Like you know, someone that like you that's reflected on that, what would you want to talk about from that perspective?

Rocky Singh Kandola :

Yeah. So, I mean, huge question the whole once again, but I've actually recently started looking into a book. I can't think of the end pronounced that it deals with talking about your shadow side. And it talks a lot about how we all have within us, as I say, a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, and the reason those kinds of stories touch so many people around the world are around such a big consciousness is that there's such an innate internal truth to it. And when we can understand that and see like and accepted that we both, we all have these different sides of us. Things become easier, to differentiate and to understand and to grow on and move from versus just react to. So, you know, as you said, you know, 10 years ago, five years, we've been these things that happened to me, a lot of them were or based on it, especially me being a certain way, don't drink things in the world a certain way and doing things a certain way. You know, as a young child, a lot of things happened to me that was totally out of my control as an adult. I kind of kept that filter on me to anger, the hate, the disrespect for authority to the feeling. I couldn't trust anybody. Everyone's gonna screw me over and hurt me. And I kept that villager on. And as long as I perceived things like that and saw like that, and believe that it kept happening to me. Everything in prison was violent after 20 years. I really thought this was who I was. This wasn't gonna happen. I wouldn't, I filtered all day. I would get in fights with people driving. I would have cops pull me over to get in fights with them. I would be in prison, getting in trouble in jail, getting in trouble, back and forth every couple of weeks. I think everyone has a common point in their life when they have some type of a shared, right. And we can have that kind of opportunity to knock at our door, to shift and change. If we're not open and ready to receive it, you know, it's going to pass us by and what life does, it will bring it around again to you and see if you're ready.

Abhinav Jain:

the lessons until you learn them. It'll keep coming back.

Rocky Singh Kandola :

Exactly. Exactly. My big one actually came after prison, you know, after I got out, I got back.

Abhinav Jain:

How long were you in prison if you don't mind me asking?

Rocky Singh Kandola :

So I was my sentence was crazy. I got sentenced to 10 years split the cert three in Alabama. That means you serve that's the time on the front end. And then if you get in trouble, which I did, I followed my probation, did all kind of stuff. You get sent to prison again afterwards. So about six to nine months in jail at different times. Got it. 11 months, quiet 0.2 months in total on house arrest. And I did inpatient rehab twice for three to four months until finally after all that. And I was still messing up and still smoking weed and thinking off some nights ago, they finally sent me to prison and I did about two and a half years at one stretch in prison about 27 months at one stretch in prison, including the time I had to quarantine and get to jail and then to prison. And finally, get out. I've

Abhinav Jain:

I have got a quick favour to ask if you, if you've been enjoying this podcast, I'd really appreciate it. If you could take one minute of your time and leave us a review on apple podcasts, it goes a long way and I'd really, really, really appreciate it. If you've already done that. Thank you again. Please share this episode with someone, you know, a friend or family member, download the episode or share the link, whatever works for you. Now let's get back to it.

Rocky Singh Kandola :

Yeah, it was, it was a lot. When you're going through stuff like that and just you're looking up and you're like, man, it's never going to have to be here forever. But looking back now, it was such a small piece that, you know, everything that happened. And, you know, honestly, if I didn't go to prison, I wouldn't have this business that I have right now because that's where I had the connections with people I've met and the conversations that actually sparked the idea behind what I'm doing right now with my hair company. We actually made the business sitting under a bump that it was stolen, stuck in a cell phone with people watching for police for us. And I was just, you know, down there just calling just my friends, cousins, and sisters, and saying, Hey, you know, what's, what's hot on the market. What are people buying? You know, what do we need to buy? How do we make this work? And then from there, it was a one-page business plan. You know, like I was saying, when I got out, I didn't really jump right into that. I got back in the same lifestyle. My first one moment came randomly I was doing everything I got, my teeth had been knocked out. I finally got my teeth back. I was finally off probation totally free if you ever want to do. And I was doing the same thing me, I was, I was in the same circles and I had the same crew. I had different girlfriends. I had, you know, my dope at one spot, the money at one spot and my car at one spot. And I was living that crazy lifestyle. And all of a sudden one day, my dad who never got along with me really nicely came to me, just ask me, ''Hey, RRocky you don't ask us for this and that anymore. You know, if you want to leave and go out of the country for a while, I'll take care of it''.And that was November 4th, 2013. And it was such a weird feeling like looking back on it's still so wild. It was definitely outside energy, definitely a higher power, definitely a spirit that came to me and was like, bro, let's go. And at that point in time, finally, after I've been through everything, I was finally open to receiving it. And before I even knew what I was saying, I said, yes. So that moment, the number four and 11 on my mom's birthday, three days later to seven, I said bye to everything. All the girls, I was talking to all the people that were selling dope when I even came home and brought my dad like a pill bottle of like a hundred, some Oxycontin's. And I was like, you know, using, and selling and stuff and just gave it to them and said, oh, you know, let's, let's go. I'm going to go try it. And I didn't change my life right then. But that was, that was the beginning spark factor. So in my mom, when I look back, I see a couple of things right there. I see one, especially the ability and the openness to want something different and wants something better. I was a dope boy, a party animal Playboy, a fun kid. I mean, that was my identity. And that's what some people call me. And more importantly, that's who I really believed I was. And I really didn't think that there wasn't anything else. And I didn't, I wasn't depressed about it. I was like, cool. This is who I am. I'm going to keep doing this. And I'm going to keep going forward. When this happened. When my dad asked me what it was like, I think I was already starting to question myself like, Hey RRocky, like, is there something else out there? Like, is there a different lifestyle for me? And I had no idea yet, I didn't have a vision. I didn't have a dream behind it. I just had that one small corner of hope and faith that there might be something different I could possibly do. I had no plans. I had not been, I graduated college with a philosophy degree. And if you know, philosophy degree, there's not much you can do with it except going to law school. Then, you know, I had already been accepted into law school while I was sitting in jail. The judge said no, to let me go. So by the time I got out, I was kind of like, I'm not going to go to law school now. I don't know what I'm going to do that I'm not going to law school. So yeah. So I took that leap of faith. And what it did for me was a lot, it got rid of all the small distractions in my life. I didn't have an iPod. I had an iPhone, I didn't have data on it. So I was not listening to music. I was not watching TV anymore. I was living on a farm in Punjab and my family friend. And it's five styles, totally free of distractions. And slowly, like more and more of that started to come into me, just started to pour into me. Like, I'm like, you know what? Like there is so much more I can do. And then I had the energy to was I wasn't on drums. I wasn't coming off drugs. I wasn't drinking every night. I wasn't partying every day. I wasn't chasing women every day. I had no distractions, no friends even to talk to, you know, nothing just, just pure natural life out there. And that's when I started, you know, like, okay, let's, let's see what I can do now. I'm an entrepreneur. I've always been a ''hustler''. I know I'll go word and nothing to speak. I know I can sell products. Let me see what I can make a product on my own. And you know, from, from being there, that's why I'm here, man. India started way back when I was in India from there it's been seven years now. And there was a couple of their shifts that happen, you know, I'll get into it more and more as we go, but it has been a journey it's like, it's been up and down. The one thing I have not done since then goes back to that lifestyle of selling drugs or being in those circles of people that are doing that anymore. And I had a lot of friends kind of look at me like, you know, leave it like often hang out where you're at, what you're good for you now, are you just gonna change? Like you can't do this. Or like, you know, this is not what you are, you're faking this and that blah, blah, blah. And I just block them, you know, I send them to love like I've now since, you know, reached out a few of them and just say, Hey, how's it going, man? Everything's okay. But without hate, without anger, just, I, I blocked him. And then I was like, you know what? I don't really know if they're right. I really hope they're not. Cause I don't want to be fake, but I got to try something different right now. And I have to, and I did that and it's been up and down like a couple of times, you know, I had a relationship with who the ex-wife in there. I wanted to reach out to smoke so bad and just, you know, fall back into than I was living in LA alone and I was actually homeless living in LA alone and almost did fall back into a lot of it. I've got to a point when, not when that happened, where I started doing a few drugs again you know, just randomly in the bathroom of Hollywood. Someone's like, Hey, I got this. I got that. I'm like, okay, whatever. I'll just lose again for a certain amount of time.

New Speaker:

That was your comfort because it's something you knew before.

Rocky Singh Kandola :

Because my coping methods and basically, you know, even now, as I recognize it a couple of weeks ago, I went through a hard job in the first relationship and I was like, man, the first thing I want to do is hop on a plane or hop on the car and get to some party destination and just chase chicks and get drunk. And I realized I can, I can kind of do that now in moderation if I'm not doing it with those intentions, like I can still enjoy myself, have a couple of glasses of wine, this and that. But as soon as I use whatever I'm feeling and then try to cover it with these couple of mechanisms, it's going to go down and Bill's in there and I'm going to keep doing, I'm going to train my brain to know that. And it's really about reprogramming your subconscious and unconscious to know that like, Hey, like these coping mechanisms you're using are harmful and every time you do them, you're hurting yourself. And if you look back 10 years, now I can see when I look back like the patterns between, well, you know, like there are so many instances that I got in trouble or I got stabbed or got shot at that literally as I do now just take a breath, like one bread literally before I make that choice. And that decision it's life-changing everything

Abhinav Jain:

I can't, you know, I'm not going to even try to say that I fully comprehend what you've gone through, but everything that you've described to me sounds a lot to me like a man who again, took time to take stock. And yeah, as you said, there was something higher, bigger than you that spoke to you at that moment where you decided to at least explore the possibility of who you thought you were and believed you were and chose to explore the unknown, which is, can I really be this other idea? And you chose to actually pursue that. And I think most people, even the ones that don't have such a crazy background where they've had crime in their life, I think most people tend to shy away from that pursuit in itself because it's too comfortable to be just in the belief system that you're in. It's almost, people rarely want to shake out of their belief system. And it's almost either forced onto them as it was to a degree on your case where you are kind of at the end of your road. It's like, if you keep going this way, you're either going to be dead. And I mean, clearly God, the universe, the creator really loves you a lot that through all these things that you've gone through, you've made it, man. And you still have this big smile on your face. And it just like warms my heart to be in your presence now because that's really like what love means. I'm not, it's not about affection and sex. Those are like subsets of a much bigger wheel that runs this entire universe. It's exactly that. I mean, it is really hard to say it even in words. And I think you can probably relate to that. So I want to hear more about the lesson that or lessons that you think you could share with us around, even though you were in such a dark place, what did you, what was the positive thing that you got out of being in such a chaotic world? You know, because not many people can talk from that experience and many of them are dead. They couldn't. So when you were in that place, what was something positive that you think you could speak to?

Rocky Singh Kandola :

I kind of get chills thinking about it because it's, it's like, there's a part of me. They're like I have a lot of brothers and specials, elite college, other survivors out there from the place that I went to as a kid. And a lot of them are not able to speak about it and are still very hurt about it. And you know, I have nightmares pretty much every night. I'm not just like healing. Isn't it just like a...

Abhinav Jain:

a sign like this.

Rocky Singh Kandola :

Exactly it's constant. Right? So for me, like there's still a lot that like subconsciously I'm working and that's why I think a lot of my nightmares, it's not things like that come from, but I have kind of a place now that I realize like, you know, like regardless of how bad these places are and they're, they're bad. I mean, they're a for-profit business and they do this and that.

Abhinav Jain:

And just to add some colour, sorry, he's talking about these groups and rehab facilities or so to speak, straighten you out facilities that he was going to with the intention of being better, turned out that these places were actually worse. They were not there to help you. They were kind of like this mix of a pseudo-military concept with like this crazy torture chamber concept of like how you would keep an inmate. I don't really think that that's a productive environment for anyone's development. So I just wanted to kind of add that detail in, but please continue.

Rocky Singh Kandola :

Yeah, exactly. And especially not of the child, you know what I mean? What's that I heard you say earlier that most of them are closed down and what's crazy is there's still an operation, a hundred different names to this day. And that's the reason that Facebook groups now speaking online a lot about it as well. And this is an unpopular opinion that I speak about it now. And that's that the lesson out of it, I know the boot camps I went to as a kid there crazily emotionally and mentally torturous. Right. And I realized you, when I was 11/12 years old sitting there and looking at my journals now as an adult, I look at those journals and I'm like, wow, was this 12 years old me? Because it looks like, it sounds like a grown man, like talking about why it's been about wanting to hurt himself or about wanting to get out of here and about how to adapt to what's going on. So I think one of the biggest things I learned early on which, you know, saved me in a certain sense and it taught me about business in a certain sense. And then I grew from it after that was how to adapt and then manipulate any situation that I'm in. I want to say manipulate, I use it loosely because back then you have to understand if I wasn't able to manipulate those centred situations. That was a survival mechanism. And as I grew, and as I'm older now, I realize that like, it's not about manipulating. It's about really taking time to step back and doing the situation and multiple angles and multiple perspectives. And then kind of deciding and moving on one force from there back then, you know, it was, it was, it was all about that. There's a lot of small things. I'm taking these places now as an adult and I've looked back on, I think for prison, one of the biggest ones was, was people like just learning I'm Indian, right. Obviously, and prison in Alabama, we have a huge white population, a huge black population, a small Mexican population. I was the psychologist that did my intake was like, oh, you're Indian. I've been here for 35 years. And you're the first person in your class I ever seen walked through these doors and been essential. And I was like, okay, great. I've kind of expected it, but it was so cool because I, at this point in my life, when I went to prison, I ordered them to so many, multiple boot camps and facilities around the world and this is one thing that stayed in my bio as well. And I love about myself because I feel like I can actually communicate and touch and connect with anybody in the world, regardless of language and in prison. I really saw that on my face because in prison, like, especially now with NSA prisons with cheap, like really cheap one prisons, you kind of have to pick a side a lot of times, either white or the black clip in the group or Spanish and speak it and so on and so forth. It's really some different worlds in there. And I speak Spanish myself as well. And so I saw myself in prison. I was like, you know what, at first I think the first week kind of observed and I was kind of a little quieter and I realized, I was like, wow, like I can kind of fit in anywhere. And I don't want to, I hope I don't get in trouble for that. But then that, that kind of like playing the game, learning how to adapt situation side candidly. And I was able to hang out with my white friends and drink coffee and play cards and play soccer outside. And my Mexican friends and just literally play like soccer last night, all my black friends and play basketball. And I was like, one of the few people in there, like, you know, there was, they didn't have any kind of like major, you know, K street cred like that did this and that to kind of back me up. And I just had a distribution base and I was able to go in between people easily and nicely as I saw people on both sides and all sides of it, looking to me for advice or legal advice for life advice and to talk and business stuff. Then at that point in my life, I didn't feel like I knew much because my identity was bad. Boy, party, animal, dope, boy, this and that. But the part of me, I wasn't realizing it was always in me and is my heart and my, my genuine, and you spoke about love earlier. And for me, that loves all has been a tough one. Right? Because always look for it outside. I've always needed some kind of love and connection. My parents sent me away to these boot camps and places I fell in love with. I felt like no one cared about me. So I have the rest of my life. I've been looking for that. And when I was in there, I realized that I'm not looking for Roman prison, obviously. Right. But I have something within me that people are recognizing as the shining light and I am sharing that unconsciously. I didn't recognize it. Then I recognize it now looking back. And one of my good friends from prison, he's actually in LA as well, 10 years ago, we were there together. We were actually talking about things and some of this stuff and we just hung out last week. And it was just, it's such a, like a crazy thing to see. Like if you could imagine yourself 10 years ago sitting in a box and it would rats and bugs crawling around in the hall, just hoping and wishing you could one day, make it t, you have no idea where and make it to something better. And that's like, literally where we are now. And we kind of get deep about it. He's a dude as well. We realize like most of these things like the, we kind of wished or were already inside of the place, like the stuff that we wanted, the money and material stuff, all that comes anyway. And it'll come and go. I know right now that whatever I'm accumulating wherever I have, like the guy outside, the almost person, I can make two bad decisions, even one bad decision. And he's sitting right out there again. Wow. And that's like a really it's authentic life has humbled me today. You know what I mean? Like I, wasn't just, just humble like that always like how it has happened to me. I've been up, I've been low. And I realized that like those things that most of society because, oh, well successful, well, not successful has very, very little to do with it. That's if you're internally in chaos, first of all, you'll never keep whatever you think you're accumulating as far as my opinion goes from what I've seen those. So yeah, like I think, and I really like what you said about love because that's such a, such a huge thing that nowadays our sexual life fueled society with stacks everywhere, we kind of, especially younger men are starting to confuse that more and more and more.

Abhinav Jain:

We can blame the women too.

Rocky Singh Kandola :

Exactly. Sorry. The women definitely as well. Can we leave them out?

Abhinav Jain:

Yeah right. You know, just to kind of chain on that, like one of the biggest realizations for me about love as a concept has been that I've realized love is not something that happens externally within people. It's something that happens within you inside. Like when you fall in love or when you find something that you just have lots of love for, and we're using a word to describe us this internal process, it's like the best word we have. It's again, something that happens within you. It's not something that external, however, going with the, since we're both into philosophy, going with the inside and the outsider one, they're not disconnected. And what I mean by that is you and me sitting here talking, or when you speak to anyone and you realize that you also have this process of thinking that goes on in your mind, those are not two distinctly separate things they're happening both in the same moment in time, which means that they're simultaneous operations. There's no disconnection. Our mind has this ability to create separation, introspect and see different perspectives. It's actually the way we use to survive because if we're not able to do that, we wouldn't be effectively able to move forward. So we're able to like kind of hypothetically paid play chess. Right. But the interesting thing about a lot of like what you've said and what I really kind of picked up on when you started to realize that you don't have to go and pursue whatever just comes into your mind. I think you were starting to develop this power of separating you from your thought process and the impulsiveness that we all have and have to kind of break that conditioning over time. Right? Because this isn't something that we were taught. I don't even think people are still taught this if you're lucky and you understand truly what yoga and meditation are not just like wearing leggings and going to the, you know, flex on the beach type of thing. Right. But if you truly, what those things are pointing to, that's pretty much the only thing that I'm aware of that helps you see the separation between the thinker and the observer that exists within us. Right. So I think it would be valuable for me to hear your perspective on that. Like you mentioned, obviously, you had coping mechanisms at the time that involved drugs. So many people today, especially in California, are addicted to marijuana and to wheat, I'll admit it. I love to smoke weed, but I didn't smoke weed my entire life. I was a competitive bodybuilder. I used to look down on people that smoked weed, but meanwhile, I was taking steroids because I was like, I want it to look a certain way. But once I remember psychologically, I cross that bridge of like not being a drug user to taking anything. I realized that I had just disarmed my ability to, you know, Hey, it's okay now. So then, you know, when something else comes around, why stop? You know, why not try this? Why not try that? And it's like, you allow yourself an inch and it'll take a mile like your mind is crazy. Right. And that's just kind of how it works. And for me though, I can spend the whole journey with, you know, weed for me in a positive way, largely because I think from where I was in my life at that time, I was already making good money. I was already deemed successful, by society, but I was deeply unfulfilled inside. I felt I had a huge void. And I think what happened with me and smoking and all was, I really started to have no option, but to dig deeper into that because I was living alone because I was by myself all, mostly all the time, except for when I was working, I had lots of time to think because I had no other responsibility. So I would just get high. And I would just have all these kinds of, you know, how it is. It's like a Whirlpool inside. And that journey led me to find the teachers that I follow now that look in the spiritual realm that have helped me kind of see the power of introspection, see the power of meditation. And it's helped me to disconnect from this perceived identity, this idea that we all hold about ourselves and what's real. And what's real is only what's present in front of you. Now, everything else is an idea or a concept that's floating in and out of your thought process it's and those thought processes are also tied to the senses and the emotions and all of the things in your body that you feel right. So it's like, but none of that is you. And we're talking about something very deep. So if someone listening to this, isn't able to follow along. It's okay. Understand that those are fundamentally true for everyone. There is this internal process and then there's this external manifestation of it. But until you get to that point in your life where you're starting to see that those are, those are actually some things that are observable. It's very difficult to make a shift and make a change. So I want to go back to like your journey of when you were trying to cope with using drugs, to when you started to realize that you needed alternative ways, help me understand and walk me through what that journey was like for you to start to kind of incorporate these things.

Rocky Singh Kandola :

Yeah. As I said, like when I went to India I don't think I told you I actually got married out there. So I met a girl three months later, we're engaged four or five months later.

Abhinav Jain:

Traditional Indian way. Right. They're like, get this boy married. He'll be better off, you know, he's, he's up to no good. Get them married, get them a wife, get him a kid. And then like, and then he'll, he'll be out of, out of trouble.

Rocky Singh Kandola :

I mean, honestly like me and her friends now we've been separated for three and a half years almost, but we both came to a good place and I'm so grateful for that relationship. It was. So it devastated me, you know, at the end of it. And I'm sure she was there very hard as well, but I'm so grateful for it. I'm so blessed to have met her and gone through that with her and to grow grown with her. But the story goes like this. After India, we came back to New Jersey and we were trying to work. And you know, I got a job teaching tennis, trying to get this business off the ground, struggling and hustling and I'm trying to make it. And then we're doing, doing well, right with this time doing it the right way. That's big, like I said, the big thing I'm out of sideways.

Rocky Singh Kandola :

And she told me too, she was like, 'RRocky you want to go''? Because I was already angry. Then she was like, 'RRocky well, you want to go hurt these people. Don't marry me. I'll go with you and we'll go get them. If you want to go sell drugs, I won't marry you. I'll be cool with you''. And I was like, I don't want any of that in my life anymore. I love you. I want to be with you. I want to have a family. And that's what I want to do. So that's the road, the intention that we set out on from there like I still had plenty and I have too many. I mean, I had plenty of issues still. I just came out of this lifestyle totally different than no. So trust issues and securities, I was still here and there, I've smoked a lot of weeds still. Also, here and there as you said earlier, a little pill comes around and she doesn't have one, a small one. I was smoking weed. I might as well. I to preface that or something like that, or, you know, happiness and that, and I was still using all that stuff. So I think anything that puts a heavy, strong relationship now on top of that, no, I didn't have a career job at the bank account or anything yet. My father was helping us a bit and she didn't like that. I didn't like the feeling of that at 25 years old, either at 27 years old, either at this point. So our relationship was the strain and we made it, you know, we, we made it all the way through and eventually made it to California. At that time, I had to, Kelly was living with her family out here for two weeks and we had a major fight and she left just packed up in the bed one day and was at the airport before I can even, I remember prime and running through TSA and telling TSA like, no,

Abhinav Jain:

Just like some movie shit bro. It's like, something's true Bollywood right here. Stop the plane.

Rocky Singh Kandola :

How did I not get shot? Because I ran to the gate where the end of TSA is. And I like, you got to stop that my wife is on there. She's not going to go ahead.

Abhinav Jain:

She has a bum.

Rocky Singh Kandola :

I didn't go to that part.

Abhinav Jain:

I'm just trying to make light of the situation. This is in no way something to joke about, but I, I, I'm just so thankful for that. You're in such a good place now that you're able to at least laugh at some of this stuff. And, but anyway, carry on with your story. Sorry.

Rocky Singh Kandola :

Or is it, it does feel good to go to smile and look back at it now, because back then going through it and being that kid running through the airport, I say kid because I feel like a child. So at that point and my heart was beating, I was sweating. I couldn't, I couldn't lie. I couldn't even walk to my car.

Abhinav Jain:

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Rocky Singh Kandola :

Yeah, she left and I was almost getting successful in business. I just got to LA and I realized that like my voice, the way I spoke, the fact that I'm Indian and selling an Indian product, people were getting the passion like that. I realized that you know what? This might be like kind of a break. I was looking for a little bit because tennis is out the door for me right now. After all, I had torn my ACL and I'll teach him tennis piece of money on the side to kind of keep everything going. And I was out the door after two, want me to seal. So when she left, I was homeless. I couldn't go back to her parents' house. I had a minivan, I, with all my Herrmann Tori and one God ended up with a business guide. It ended screwing me over pretty badly in LA with all kinds of money stuff, you know, looking back like it was my fault. I was drunk the whole time. And it was like, like, please take advantage of me. And he did, you know what I mean? He died at the right time a thing, but yeah, that's when I was like starting at the, for the first time, really getting back into using drugs as a coping mechanism. I mean, I'm going through a separation. I'm living in my minivan in hostels one night. I woke up on the outside of my van, like on the ground multiple nights and it was crazy. I kind of documented all this. I made videos like myself, but I didn't share anybody. I talking to myself and just like crying and talking to my ex-wife wife and like saying things. And it's really hard to look back at. But now three years later, it's as much easier to see. Yeah. Eventually, you got to the point where I thought I'll do it to get her back and something I wasn't, I have to slam a felon with no job history, no bank now and no, not no good credit at this point. So nobody in LA would give me an apartment because I couldn't get a place. And I was like, I know if I can get a place that I'll get her back. So finally I got a place and I got in there and on May 5th Cinco de Mayo 2016/17. I went raw vegan and I quit drinking. I quit smoking for a little bit and I started meditation and yoga. And the reason was one of my best friends from college, Sean came from Korea, flew to town and to stay with me. And this dude is actually like one of my best friend, my best friend, my mentor guiding light, everything blessed to have him in my life. And I don't have many friends at all in my life anymore. Sean came to me and he didn't try to teach me anything. Literally. He didn't try to tell me anything to teach me anything. He just started living with me next to him, cleanly, eating healthy, doing healthy things, introduced me to people in LA that weren't part of that other crowd that I knew from the business guy.

Abhinav Jain:

Oh man, that's so helpful.

Rocky Singh Kandola :

And it changed me. It changed everything. You know, to this day I even called him last week and I was like, bro, do you know? I'm so grateful to you. It started back when, you know, when my ex Hanukkah first left me, I mean, I was going through all that and you came here and just kind of life with me and you didn't try to teach me or show him anything. Cause I'd probably re rejected that I was already like, you know, stubborn still at that point. And I just kind of sat with me and showed me these things that, Hey, Rocky, like you think all you can do in LA is go to the shrimp boat or go to the barber and Hollywood ad or go to some coconut bathroom and go see this guy. Nah, I'm gonna show you what Ella is about. Beautiful people, the culture, the meditation centres and yoga centres, the groups of spiritual people that are out there, just talking about these things. Daily. And I just dove into it. And then like, it was such a blessing. And even still, I had a lot of ups and downs since that point as well, but that has now been a guiding baseline for me. Now I know if I'm going through whatever and I can find it within myself to calm down, slow down, sit down, meditate, get a yoga class, go work out, read a book by Paulo Coelho, Ralph Smart. And these people they're on this kind of level of consciousness and this kind of level of learning, even random user videos. I can shift that and I can stay at myself, going back to those things. And last year on my birthday, February 14, I quit smoking weed. And then, and it was during a pandemic. And can you imagine, like the guy that smoked weed, she was 15 and low smoking? Everyone knows me as a leader. People even still say, my eyes looked like...

Abhinav Jain:

You still look high, bro.

Rocky Singh Kandola:

But it was tough, you know, at first, but I was climbing. I was, I was living alone at the same place. That's why I've not had, and every day I was like hearing things in the hallway. I was thinking she was walking back in and was coming to see me. I was pulling my hair out and just screaming and spend time praying at the same time, like fighting with me to walk outside for a walk and try to help myself and do all the yoga. But the smoking that stopping smoking weed at that point really made me face it. See, because everyone is different. Right. For me, I was smoking weed, not to get creative, not to help myself out. I was smoking because I was scared to face the issue. Well, yeah. It's like,

Abhinav Jain:

I always describe to people that asked me who don't smoke weed. Like, what's it like, it's pretty much like taking in a toilet and then flushing it down because whatever you had going on before the moment you get real high, it just clears the canvas to a degree and you can basically be in a very different state. Right. And, and that, and that could be a positive thing if that's something you want. But yeah, it can very much be a very bad negative thing because now you're repressing things and you're building up this sort of giant mountain of shit that you haven't dealt with. So just wanted to add that context in there, but please,

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Well, and you said it beautifully with the and all it serious. That's exactly what it is. And I also try to tell my people, you know, that home is cause no one wants to hear it. I was one of the ones like, yo, shut up as we are, I'm chilling out. I get creative on it. I have to work on it better. I'm this net has so many excuses for it and I still love the webinar. I don't want to smell. It looks as much as people that I love. I love it. I just know now. And I'll tell you why in a second, I'm known now for a fact, it's not for me. So as people that you know, me as added to things and wild personalities and stubborn people from day one, one lesson, sometimes isn't enough. October of last year, I've got myself in a new relationship and I got to a point where I really, I felt like if I was going to be myself, I had to like kind of almost dumb myself down to a certain point and I couldn't deal with things as well. So once again, I went back to my old friend coping mechanism that I had, which is weed. And I again, quit on my birthday this year. The first time last year I went to Bali and got my body detox and cleaned up the room and did it. And this time it was literally transformational. The first time I was still confused, I was like, I don't really know why I quit smoking weed. I had a feeling. It did help me. I'm crying a lot. I'm going through a lot now. I think a lot of that has to do because I'm not smoking weed. But now that recognize that I don't want to smoke. I want to feel this stuff and get it out. It actually got me some water in my book as well. This time my body is just like, no, but I felt like every bit of me and I was like in a nice area to heal myself, everything coming out of me to tears and everything. I felt how much I had dropped up just in two months. I mean like so much stuff. I have not said that in that relationship and you know, there wasn't a spiritual, like the wonderful person I'd finally manifest in my life. The person I'm speaking of. They would've probably been like, yo, screw up. Like I'm outta here. I don't, I don't know who you are. What's wrong with you. But by then this woman could hold that space for me, which was tough because I'm a six-foot, two guys and I get upset and bothered and annoyed and like, and you hear me screaming and you don't want to come, like try to hold my hand just to make sure I'm okay. You're kind of stay over there. It's okay. Going to be okay. Yes. I finally realized that it's been, it's been a month and a half now and I realized like I live right down the street from maybe four or five of these shops and I'm so blessed now and that I'm grateful that I don't even have that temptation. I just know in my heart that for me as much as I liked and don't bleed at all, it's just not for me. And I've been spending my whole life have thought, but for me, it's just literally, it's not for me. My, my vibration is lower. My realness, my openness is just lower. I'm not able to be as real. It's just, I'm so used to using lead and covering up whatever it is on my brain and my heart. That as soon as I smoke it, it just, I don't need it. You know? And that's not, that's not what I want to be. I want to continue to elevate. I got, I do feel successful, but I also feel like a baby on this journey. I feel like I've just not had, it's only been, you know, maybe three to four or five years. I've done all the work when it comes to like internal stuff. When it comes to yoga, meditation, eating, clean, getting rid of things in my life and distractions. And I'm excited now. Like I, I don't really care what tomorrow brings, but I'm excited for any of that. I don't want to know what's going to happen, but I'm so excited that like every day, even the hurtful stuff now I'm starting to realize it's such a blessing. I once again got to grow so much just from that and get to take back inside myself. And it brought up so much that I was able to finally see without any kind of drugs and drinking inmate. And just like, wow, like, look, how much of a pattern I've had in the last two relationships that from ex-wife I've gotten relationship immediately, either long after her, it was four months later that I'm in right now and the pattern was there. And now finally consciously I'm able to be like, Rocky, like you can break that pattern. I don't have to do it again. When you consciously see it and you know, it's there, then you can break it. And marijuana was part of a huge step for me. Like I say, I smoked. So I was young. I've had many legal consequences and locked up for just weed, at least five or 10 times in Alabama and Mississippi and Louisiana in New York, maybe in New Jersey, also just for different marijuana. And it's like, and not only that, like parents, family school, this and that, you know, there's all kinds of negative stuff that happened.

Abhinav Jain:

Yeah. I mean, it has all these consequences that it's hard to even like predict, you know, and especially when you're in the moment, you know, not to take away all the things you've shared, but I, I know that someone out there listening to this who may have gone on this path of like trying to better themselves, I think it would be valuable to hear someone like you and your perspective on, I know that nobody has like a one-time fix for the rest of their life. So you're on a journey and I think every day is going to be its battle. And every day is going to have its challenges. So for someone like you, who's definitely in a much better place now than you were a decade ago, less than a decade ago. And you've picked up the path of trying to be proactive and conscious about the things you do to better yourself and to at least give yourself that space, to allow yourself to experience life as is without ed adding things. And what I'm talking about is like meditation, obviously right here, like taking the time to sit down and it's not easy. So I want to hear from you about like, you know, how do you continue to deal with that part of it? Any relapses that may come about and, and, you know, your, your perspective on that. So I'd love to hear about this.

Rocky Singh Kandola:

Meditation and yoga. And like I said before, it is pretty much the life stayed in for me. And it's not been easy to this day. Like today, I still can't sit on my carpet, whatever myself, and close my eyes and gets any kind of meditative state earlier today. Right on the way here, actually on the way to this podcast to speak with you. I was with my healer, my therapist on Venice beach and we're sitting there. I told him as well, I was like, you know what, brother, like, I don't close my eyes and alone. And that's why I'm not able to sleep well, I don't, I don't have bad dreams stuff. So I realized that like there was a thing in me, a fear in me of that. So what I suggest when anybody out there hearing this is it's going to be, you're shifting your entire body and mind mindset and the way you think and perceive things, meditation and yoga. So don't expect that, you know, to go to one class or do one sitting and just be like, hold on this better. It's taken me this much time to get to a place where I can release it with someone else and feel safe and comfortable. Now the biggest thing that helped me and which, you know, there's more prevalent American now, much more so in LA has taken classes. And you know, people say I don't have $20 for this and that. If you got $20 to go to McDonald's verses to go and get yourself food for a week at a grocery store, then you definitely have $20 to put into your internal notes into your, into your monitor hardware installed. So then meditation, peace, yoga, hot yoga, Soho meditation, all these places around LA were literally lifesavers and me and that the level of energy and cautiousness in there is so intense. And I would go in there. I would sit in a corner for a little bit and I'll just have, like, I wouldn't be sad. I always have tears in my eyes. Cause I feel like the power of these people and they wouldn't, we wouldn't even have many conversations. It is, look at my pass by this smile. And like Dell did all I would need. I'm like, wow, like where, like I want to cultivate that. I want to be able to walk by someone and smile and just, and spread that love and just like that. And I've actually started to be able to that just the last week of my lifestyle. And I'll walk to the gym. I noticed that like, if we slow down, I look around and how beautiful and how wild it is that we're actually alive and walking and able to make it, you know, with these buildings and these sidewalks, then you kind of develop that. And then they call it like GAAP day. Like that appear all consuming load for everything irradiate that. And that's like when I saw that, when I got a taste of that in LA, from the meditation centres, I want them, I had to add it all. And I was like, you know, I got it. I got to know, I've got to notice how to feel this. This is what I need in my life. So I kind of asked her a question, like there's a combination of stuff, meditation, you know, that was very tough for me. It's not, it's not an easy practice when you're looking for an outcome for it. And I was looking for help. I was like, I need help. I don't know where to get help from. But Sean said try this. And he was doing it. So I'm going to do it also. And for the first six months, I don't know what came up in me while I was doing yoga, but we would do these poses. Right. And every time they would do a pose where we'd look at the ground or like no one could see me, I would just start crying. All like not being sad I had, there was no one like the thing I thought about like, I wasn't like missing X, Y it wasn't like I was sad in a position I was in. I think it was the first time that I Aaron for my body and myself, that we're really, truly show them ourselves and wellness and care. And my body and my body was just like, it was crying and tears. I was like, man, thank you, Rocky. Like, thank you for finally giving us, we've been waiting to. And if you just try, you know, yoga meditation, try to put yourself out there, give yourself a shot and the chance, I'm sure you'll have the same experience. People think like you were saying leggings and this and that. And flashy like it's not that, American culture has like changed the way of the face of it. It is about the connection today in your mind, your soul, your body and the universe. And it took a long time for me to feel it because I didn't know what it was when I was crying. It was the days when I was in yoga class and I was here. I didn't know what it was now today. I do know what it is. I feel it that's. That is that's God. That's like, God is like the thing that unites us all the universal soul. Basically, it kind of connects everybody and we all have that within us and we can all achieve it and grab it in any single day and meditation and yoga or not the only pets, but there are definitely two of the very, very strong paths to get there. I'm sure there's plenty of ways and plenty of other people that have many ways to get there for me personally, yoga meditation. And then for me, clean eating also equating me at the same time, a way that kind of so fish, but I eat a lot healthier food and put, spend money to make sure like I'm eating, you know, fresh cost stuff versus, you know, farm-raised you know, stuff with this cooked on good or made in good farms in good areas, alkaline high alkaline vegetables and things like

Abhinav Jain:

That. I think it's worth mentioning that all these things that we're discussing, it's an ongoing activity. It's a daily practice. It's a daily discipline. It's not a one-time once a problem, you know, solved. And now you're done. It's your, when you go and take the journey inward, you realize that it's infinite and it's beyond just you and your current state. There's so much of your ancestry. That's tied to you. And all of that, that exists, you know, as, as you, as there manifests itself that you don't have any control over, you know, you and I didn't ask to be here in this life, that in itself is the starting point. Something wanted us to be here and that's what gave us life. It wasn't merely just our parents having sex. It was more than that. It's much bigger than that. That was what love is. Right. And coming back to that again, I think this is where a lot of times for meditation, people have a goal in mind like I want to meditate and I want to get X and it's entirely not that it's sitting down without any goals and seeing what comes up and being okay with it. And I meditate every day. And as of late December, I'd decided, you know, just give you a quick synopsis of my background. I used to compete in bodybuilding. And so I was in very good shape physically. You know, I looked like a God. Like I was ripped, you know, I was like a mini Arnold, the brown. And I was just like, so on top of my, but I had this huge ego because it was an insecure piece. Why I wanted to work out is because I got bullied. I'm not 6 42. Like I'm like five foot, five and a half. If I wear shoes with a little soul. So I, you know, I, once I moved to this country, all the changes of being different really started to kind of build up this little bit of resentment that kind of transformed itself into my bodybuilding career. But I always had tremendous love at home, no matter how bad things got, you know, and I could relate to like you talking about your father and all, especially in Indian cultures, I think son and father always have buttheads for the most part. Right. I can relate to a lot of that. And, and I think we're where I'm trying to go with it all, is that you said it before as nothing lasts forever. And that's also true for your internal state. If you have a pressing emotion and a pressing thought, a pressing state that you're feeling of overwhelm, it's not permanent. That is also a passing state, just like any material object in your life, it's going to come, it's going to go, it's going to get deteriorated, it'll break, whatever have you. Right. And I think that's the beauty of meditation is to realize that piece daily, because it's almost like we need that daily reset. That's we go to sleep at night and we're like, completely not here. And then we come back into this world and it's almost like you need that reset daily. So I wanted to just take a moment to highlight that this, this isn't like to say that, you know, you were once in a bad place and now you're in a good place. And like it's wallah. Life's great. Everything's good. You know, that's not how it works for anyone, even if you're a freaking billionaire. I know plenty of my friends who have lots of crypto and lots of stocks and are multimillionaires close to becoming billionaires who are, don't even have the basics together. And I don't want to put them down either. I want to just kind of highlight the importance of the inner journey and how important that is. And it shouldn't be overlooked for accolades that are the only percept doable by the society like money and a car and a house and all, you know, and I guess maybe a good question to ask you for this is what does success really even mean to you now at your, in your life? You know, of all the things that you've seen, you've, you know, you're not shy of seeing women and money and drugs and partying, and you've been successful in business, you know? So what does success even mean to you now?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

So as much as I want to please my parents, as much as I want to be seen, as, you know, helping members of society succeed I'll finally found out is just how I feel inside. If I'm happy with what I have and if I'm able to keep the things I have with me and just flow in life, I'm successful, man. Like there's, there is nothing...

Abhinav Jain:

That's it, man. That's it for the people who didn't see that if you're just listening to the audio, I just was pointed to the t-shirt that I'm wearing today, which says I eat and sleep well. And that to me is a success. It's like, I can have all the money in the world, but if I'm not eating well if I'm not sleeping well, I'm having nightmares. I'm having terrible situations the whole time. That's not being successful. So I am 125% in agreement with you, bro. Like that is what success is, is about the inside. It's about how it is. You're dealing with things on the inside. And I suppose

Rocky Singh Kandola:

I was saying, that's what meditation is. I was like, like you had the awareness no way back then, before you even got into it in your bodybuilding, like the awareness of like, you know what, like this is kind of a big ego-driven thing. It comes from my past and it comes from the things I was telling myself before we meditate. Like now I can meditate almost like a long drive. I'll keep the music off. I'll keep the punk rock on a tape on by Wayne Dyer, Alan Watts to be really low and mellow got to have the ability to kind of meditate at that point. And like, it doesn't mean like you become the good guy. And like they're saying, they're like go to a different place. Like, you know, like that's some other level of it, but meditation, like there's just cultivating the ability to grab that awareness in all the different areas of our lives. And I think that that is where I finally came to like the money. If, if success is not inside you, I know for a fact it's not from the money, the money and the material stuff. It just doesn't have anything to do with it. And it's such a catch 22 because you have to have some amount of money to do well. And people don't believe in that. I say this and that they do that means they've done it. Or they just know people and they will feel that. But you do all this stuff inside. You don't pay attention to the work and it's so wild how everything else just comes. It's not way more. You're not going to be a billion dollars in your pocket, all of a sudden, but what you need, what your body, your mind or life, what you need to survive and do well. And to flourish will come right to you.

Abhinav Jain:

That's the key. What you need will be provided for you. Your wants are infinite. You know, he'll never have everything you want, but what you need, the universe will always provide that to you. Right. And I guess Rocky to close out, you know, I want to touch upon a high note and I think something that's very, very important and needs to be mentioned. You mentioned to me, you know, having a relationship with your father that was at the ends. And I want to know, like from the journey that you've had so far, like, what would you say has been like the most valuable lesson that you've learned from your parents?

Rocky Singh Kandola:

I've learned so many lessons from my parents. And they don't, they wait, if you asked them, they'd be like, he never learned anything. You know, like this is going back to love for me, love is a bit like I have a saying that I say what I'm feeling lower down, kind of like a mantra and it's, I am love. It just touched my heart. It's like, I am love. I am love. And my parents fought a lot growing up, you know, a lot, a lot. We can say the same and you know, it was tough. It was tough to see I had all these judgments and stuff that I put on it, you know, as a kid watching it, you know, it was, it was hurtful and this and that, seeing them now together, still fighting, but able to live together and have those moments where they smile at each other or make a joke and laugh and, and, and are able to come together and be there for the family at a wedding or this and that. That's the biggest for me. That's, that's, that's one of the biggest things. I feel like breaking down to like emotional love terms, whatever you want to say. But like, for me, that, that's what it is like to see them after because we never thought they were going to make it together. And as a Kelly's tell our parents, they want us to break up. Why don't you just like, get like a separated. So the mom takes care of his money and runs away and I'll come up with you. And it was sometimes, it was that bad. And we were younger, you know, and they still go at it quite, quite frequently. But now I can see that the love that they have, transcends all of that. And that love came into like family. It came into everything and like, it doesn't even mean they just had it for each other. It's just spread out. It's like a sphere-like in the pilgrimage by Paulo Coelho, talk about the blue sphere of love. And you can feel that when I go home, as many traumas happened there as much craziness happened there, I could still sit on that couch in my house, mobile, Alabama, and feel that feel safe and feel loved. And if they didn't teach me that, you know, show me that I don't know. I would have kind of, kind of went to wipe more jaded than anything. And on top of that on a second, hold on, it's like a simultaneous kind of secondhand note that gave me a lot of tough loaves and the lessons I learned from the tough love